Superawkward

[MharcI]

It would've been terrific if you'd accidentally puked all over her wallet

[clover]

so i'm at my friend's wedding having a blast drinking, meeting new ppl, etc.

i was talking to this girl who had bit of a potbelly but normal otherwise (wearing a tight dress too as if she wanted to accentuate the abdominal area), and being the drunken dumbass i ask her, "so how far along are you??"

and she just looks at me and says, "i'm not pregnant."

i wanted to disappear

[squirtlepk]

its ok Riff, i still want to be you when i grow up lol.

Pissed off from some stupid shit that happened this morning and just hit a wall out of anger. I had no idea the mail lady was on the other side of it.

why don't you just give her your mixtape

[redninja2319]

Met Victoria and David Beckham at my work (coffee shop.srs).

Him: I would like a small coffee please

Me: (being a starstruck dumbass) d-did you want cream for room?

Him: Wat. lol

idk if that's exactly what I said but I said it all backwards...i laughed and blushed like an idiot. He tipped me at least but still....

[OCEANSECT]

that awkward moment when you find your housemates tumblr and its like all naked pictures of her

[bonejelly]

post it or it's fiction.

[StrangeLove]

Its on her tumblr, you should share her tumblr with us.

[OCEANSECT]

lol nah its ok i wont

i mean, i know she did uh "modelling" and i think shes becoming suicide girl or something, i just didn't know like thats what her tumblr was.

besides you can easily find like a million tumblrs that are girls posting naked pictures of themselves...

[penis]

^neg this guy

[Lozinski]

i think that's ban worthy.

[t3hcoke]

neg train

[fallen angels]

[Guest Wavey]

anyone else feel awkward shopping in retail places.... niggas staring at you, ppl shoppin like drones, annoying music, i can only buy shit online

[baizilla]

lol nah its ok i wont

i mean, i know she did uh "modelling" and i think shes becoming suicide girl or something, i just didn't know like thats what her tumblr was.

besides you can easily find like a million tumblrs that are girls posting naked pictures of themselves...

[gettoasty]

colleague saying 'bye, cya tomorrow' to me while we're both exiting the same building door toward the same direction of our car.

then both trying to walk at faster paces to get to car.

i walked at a quicker pace in front of her and yelled out "goodnight!"

[exactly when that happened i thought of this thread today lol]

[wood 666]

so i was talking with my muncipality consultant via phone and i

m telling her how badly i need a to move away and get a little flat for myself so i can start in school and sudden she starts talking about coming over at some shit and moaning and purring like a cat or sumshit, what the fuck, so anyways, it's gonna be a bit awkward when i see her face to face in a couple of weeks. if i recall she's a blond hot milf, if i'm wrong, she's a fat old lady.

hmm...

edit:

and that isn't the first time. i dont know if any of you have tried it, but i have this habit of seeing horny secretary women all over the place. not even bullhitting. i feel like a ho

Edited December 21, 2011 by felip

[OCEANSECT]

meh

[sawyer]

previously:

i was high out of my mind and just always decide to fuck with this kid when i see him on the floor

location-bathroom

me-staring him down

him-starts talking about something

me-calmly tell him to shut the fuck up (staring him down whole time)

him-some response

me-tell him to shut the fuck up and keep his fucking mouth closed

him-less response (milder interjection?)

me-keep your fucking mouth shut

him-i think one more response

me-shut your fucking mouth and shut the fuck up

kid was obviously scared, my roommate told me that he had confided in other students (including my roommate?) that he was genuinely afraid of me and scared that i will physically injure him

before above incident:

i have put a knife or some blade to his throat a few times and hit him with my hands more times (all in jest though!!!!)

most recently:

(still in acid brain sort of)

me: told the kid that i know for sure now that "reality" is not real and that all feelings are just synthetic bullshit and our brains are just computers and we're no different and we're hardwired to want things, but now that i know this i do not give a shit

him: some inane remark

me: nooooo, i do not think you understand i do not give a shit. i do not give a shit at all. that's why i want to get a gun asap

him:?????? why do you want a gun?

me: need to make sure i don't die and i need to be trained to use it. i told you i don't give a shit. i have no problems pulling the fucking trigger. i told you man i don't give a shit. i need to watch out for myself and if that means killing someone else then that's how it's gonna be. i do not give a shit man

him: i dont really remember what he said i think it was just stunned silence as i talked about how i would rape some random kid in the cafeteria because this kid just came up to our table to talk to this girl (he said he got raped on the exam)

me: i elaborated into how this kid doesn't know the meaning of the word rape and he doesn't know who i am or even hear this conversation going on and i'm gonna make this kid know the meaning of the word rape

the kid who i fuck with all the time lives next door to me i think he is really legitimately scared of me now. most fucked up thing i've said to someone recently. also whenever i would put a blade to his throat i would emphasize how easy it was and i was putting in no effort and i could kill him without trying

was undecided if i wanted to put this here or in "pics that make you uncomfortable"

decided to put it here because it's just too ridiculous

[imhellag]

1. one time i was at mall w/ girl and a homie called. I didnt pick it up.

i'm walking around wit her and i see him -_____-

2. in hawaii it's legal to ride in the back of a pick-up truck. yesterday i was stuck in traffic, behind a truck with 4 guys hanging out in the back, staring straight at me. omg hella awkward. i went thru the phases: pretend to play on phone, look out window, look at side, etc, but everytime traffic moved I had to look forward. right into those eyes...

[pepper davies]

This could have gone in about 40 threads... I think this might be the right one, but as long as it's in the trash I'm pretty close.

Guilty pleasure.

[okonomi]

Started a facebook conversation with a girl I just met the other weekend. Turns out her father had a heart attack and now I'm sitting here consoling her for that, as well as for how she thinks she's gonna be homeless next year.

I feel so bad because I was only talking to her to ask her to get me on the list at a club.

[StrangeLove]

Oh my fucking god i just sent my "friend" the dirtiest text ever... and creeped her out a bit shes someone i hang out with on the daily too but i always imagine myself having sex with her ffffffffffffuuuuuuu

[StrangeLove]

this is the part where you start saying fuck out loud

[chemist.]

there's this one asian kid in mechanical engineering at my school. he's kinda weird and awkward and had asked me if he should switch into chemical engineering because he failed so many courses (lolwtfman). anyway, facebook told me it was his birthday but i hadn't decided to write on his wall because i generally don't shout out people on facebook unless i know them. so i'm walking home from the library and i see this asian kid walking and wearing an engineering jacket, he looks exactly like the dude i know. so i go up to him (and it's kinda dark) and say happy birthday. turns out it's not the guy i know. this other asian guy (who doesn't speak english very well) is confused as fuck, so he introduces himself to me and asks my name, i tell him my name and say "oh man, sorry you have the exact haircut and glasses as my freind" and walk away asap.

tl;dr: i secretly think all asians look alike. no racial though.

[imhellag]

^ I too think all asians look alike. it doesn't help that many of them dress very typical. but i dont keep it a secret.

[dovo]

A friend and I share a birthday month so we decided that we were going to get each other something for our birthdays. Out of nowhere she decides to get me something for Christmas so I'm all aaah fuck gotta find something to kop. She's a pretty good friend of mine but I don't see her often so I'm thinking I had time to stall. I get her something and I'm waiting for it to arrive no big deal because ill just see her when I see her and I'm going out of town next week and this shits gotta be here by the time I get back. All good.

So today I'm at home chillin after a long day at work. layin on the couch watching the First 48 and shit all of a sudden I get a text saying "Hey lets exchange presents real quick" WTF? Im like shit.

me: nah i can't I'm not at home

her: Lies, I see your car

(the fuck, i think she's joking so I go into my room to get a charger)

me: Oh, I'm out with my friends doin some last minute koppin for our trip.

her: lies, i just saw your room light turn on.

(damn, this bitch is outside aint she? caught me slippin i guess)

me: oh, thats my mom

her: How do you know its your mom?

me: Wait, are you seriously at my house?

I hear a car speed off, haven't heard from her. Guess I don't have to worry about stalling tho.

[Lozinski]

you never disappoint. how does this shit happen to you so often? hahaha

[(10chars)]

dovo should of just told her you were waiting for her gift to arrive. telling the truth helps avoid awkwardness. keep doing what youre doing though you are running this thread..

[evisu 2000]

whenever i read dovo's posts i picture him as bill cosby (black milhouse?)

[dovo]

^^ I forgot she even knew where I lived. I had no idea she was at my house til around the end of the convo lol