Superawkward

[fruitbrute]

cure, What Mogli said. Also, I'm not an asshole.

OCEANSECT, I don't get it.

[bfan]

actually I know exactly the kind of person you're talking about. in the past two days I've ran into like three of them, they're probably really smart and all but they just say the most pretentious shit and always have this tone about them that instantly makes you dislike them. and they're always kissing ass or trying to make themselves look better.

[lmk1995]

so like 95% of the kids I go to school with?

[haploid]

two dryers on my floor, both full and finished. i waited like ten mins for my load to be done in the washer (pause) and nobody cleared them out so i just took all the stuff and put it on top of the dryer and proceeded to put my stuff in. as i'm doing this, the dude whose laundry is now on top of the dryer walks in and starts complaining about how annoying its going to be to have to hang it all up since its still damp (already started the machine, can't open them once running). just responded yup that does suck and then walked out haha.

[Lozinski]

dunno why u just dont say cool story bro half way through him talking ?

I've had one in my class and that doesn't stop them. My whole class would tell him to shut the fuck up and the douche just kept going until the prof told him that same shit.

Every fucking class.

[OCEANSECT]

cure, What Mogli said. Also, I'm not an asshole.

OCEANSECT, I don't get it.

tryna pass of story about self as "some kid at university" or whatever idk it wasnt very funny to begin with idk why i even hit post

meta post?

[playdisonlyatnight]

two dryers on my floor, both full and finished. i waited like ten mins for my load to be done in the washer (pause) and nobody cleared them out so i just took all the stuff and put it on top of the dryer and proceeded to put my stuff in. as i'm doing this, the dude whose laundry is now on top of the dryer walks in and starts complaining about how annoying its going to be to have to hang it all up since its still damp (already started the machine, can't open them once running). just responded yup that does suck and then walked out haha.

you should've gone the extra mile and grabbed his shit for him (pause) or taken his clothes off (pause) and helped fold

crosspost/edit: fixed for you

[_ironman]

washroom at the office has 2 stalls, 2 urinals, 2 sinks

i come in to take a piss at urinal, someone in stall taking a dump, a guy i don't know brushing his teeth at one of the sinks

i finish taking a piss, start washing my hands at the other sink. as i begin, guy finishes and comes out of stall. it's my manager

i like to wash my hands thoroughly, so my manager is striking up a conversation with me waiting for me to finish while this other guy is occupying the other sink, vigorously brushing his teeth

this is why if i'm taking a dump at work i will time my exit from the stall

[Handlethevibe]

I was at my friends housewarming party during the summer and was already kinda high/drunk. A group of five girls walked in with a big, unopened bottle of vodka. They put it on the table, made a few drinks, then went off and started talking to each other/people. Long story short, I ended up accidentally bumping into it, causing it to fall onto the ground and smash into a million pieces right in front of all of them. Then I started apologizing to them profusely as they all glared at me and as I'm on my knees trying to clean up all the broken glass and vodka with some shitty thin as fuck paper towels, all the while I'm beet-red and one girl just keeps repeating how it was completely full, as if she was shell-shocked.

A few minutes later after cutting open my fingers numerous times, everything is cleaned up, and by then the girls had left, not 15 minutes after arriving. lol

[alimenator]

^fucking sucks, Asian glow?

every time I drink it's superawkward cause I get crazy Asian glow, like after 1 beer or 2

[f50fan]

i will time my exit from the stall

Always. I dont understand why more people dont understand this concept.

[Mixture]

^fucking sucks, Asian glow?

every time I drink it's superawkward cause I get crazy Asian glow, like after 1 beer or 2

[jkatakoon]

^fucking sucks, Asian glow?

every time I drink it's superawkward cause I get crazy Asian glow, like after 1 beer or 2

Asian glow.. First world problems..

I take a Pepcid before I drink. It works sometimes.. Makes me not as red, but a little pink.

[ch00ber]

cosign. i get red after a shot and my head starts to bump furiously. pepcid helps a little with the redness only when i take it like an hour before but the bumping is still a pain in the ass

[Kregg]

I wanna fuck this chick who only likes chicks.

[OCEANSECT]

sex change

[playdisonlyatnight]

azn glow has already been covered extensively on sufu. back to topic:

today im getting a full body massage by a coworker who is a dude, because hes learning to become a massage therapist and itll be free. but the seinfeldest part about the whole thing is his name is the same as mine (Joe) and he is handsome (im probably biased cuz of the name thing tho)

[Handlethevibe]

^fucking sucks, Asian glow?

every time I drink it's superawkward cause I get crazy Asian glow, like after 1 beer or 2

Nah I meant from embarrassment.

[skiniks]

azn glow has already been covered extensively on sufu. back to topic:

today im getting a full body massage by a coworker who is a dude, because hes learning to become a massage therapist and itll be free. but the seinfeldest part about the whole thing is his name is the same as mine (Joe) and he is handsome (im probably biased cuz of the name thing tho)

yer a really good friend

[lmk1995]

got an fb friend request from my cousin by marriage from peru whom I've never met (or heard of for that matter) and instantly get an fb chat asking me to teach her english. wtf.

[TTM]

was at chipotle trying to get my burrito on. But first i had to smash. Open up the door, lo and behold, there is some dude there shitting. Gives me this frightened deer in the headlights looks. Solid 1/2 second eye contact. Guy had the hairiest fukin legs. Seriously, who forgets to lock the door when they shit? I checked and it WORKED.

So pissed i had to go through that right before i was to enjoy a delicious meal. fucking asshole.

edit: this wasn't a stall, it was a 1-person single room style bathroom. door opened directly to the view of toilet.

[watchyrscrew]

who tries to bang in a chipotle

[jkatakoon]

who tries to bang in a chipotle

^ I'm guessing "smash" in this context has three meanings to choose from: 1) Bang someone. 2) Beat his meat. 3) Take a shit. What could be the right meaning..

[cameron-]

dude at the gym taking a shower in a large jersey and underpants :/

[dovo]

Theres this chick at school who im ridiculously attracted to. I cant figure out why for the life of me. She has a pretty damn unattractive face and her body aint all THAT bangin. She has the most unlady like walk ive ever seen but she dresses like a "girly girl".

I want to fuck the living shit out of her.

Whenever I see her I just sit there and stare, even when she notices or other people notice. This girl that sits next to me has caught me at least three times and now wont even look at me. (thats cool doe cause I was'nt even sweatin her)

[lmk1995]

dat awkward too nervous too talk stare.

[scientifick]

after the first night of a pretty lights, big gigantic, beats antique, bonobo, bassnectar show i wandered out the front gate and was with friends waiting for a cab and saw this guy passed out on his back spread eagle on the sidewalk. feet hanging off the edge, half his back in the dirt, dude was done. paramedics showed up and didn't have a stretcher so they were wrapping these orange cables around his body, legs, etc. making a harness to carry him.

as they're doing so he wakes up, busts out in this huge smile and yells "What's Up!!" and precedes to hug one of the paramedics legs. dude shoved him forcibly back to the ground and passed out dude was Done.

awkward night/morning for him

[lmk1995]

I was at a biochem review session. I was totally lost at one point and just asked "was this covered in class?" my professor replies "don't worry, you were probably sleeping." it's awkward because...it's true.

[pokpok]

you should sleep through electives, not biochem.

[lmk1995]

got a 97 on the first exam though