Superawkward

[phen3N]

[TTM]

we call that one the turkey

[mapclub]

edit: nvm nvm..

^ also I did that to 2 of the Flying Lotus members when I photographed them. worst ever.

[willy cheesesteak]

i've been texting detailed drawings of really veiny ejaculating penis pictures to a friend for a few consecutive days but she never responded, so i doublechecked and turns out i mistyped one of the numbers when i was re-adding contacts. i hope whoever was on the other line enjoyed them though.

[pokpok]

was at club monaco and the SA greeted me spontaneously and i awkwardly froze and said a hybrid hey/hi type word...that was weird...it was a dude so its all good...

btw there was a alessandra ambrosio lookalike chick working there..my jaws fuckin dropped. straight up VS model looking face but she was only 5'8..

[mr fluffernutter]

eww my texting skills reek of desperation

[mr fluffernutter]

"oh i was just seeing if i was still invited to watch twin peaks with you sometime" I AM A DORK

[pokpok]

she reply?

[mr fluffernutter]

yeah she said twin peaks was a bummer and shes not in the mood to wtch it. but said we can draw together or something later in the week

[okonomi]

The best thing about phone calls is once you've hung up they're not still lurking there to show you how you screwed up.

[Magsåvningsreserven]

should have said let's watch a wire marathon

the realness will make her horny!

[playdisonlyatnight]

@diamonds thats not as bad as watching twin peaks on your laptop while your gf watches it out of town on her laptop and u guys talk about it on msn messenger

on last episode tonight.

[NatseOklim]

^Used to do that with Lost...

[gettoasty]

you just have to embrace the fact that people are usually on autopilot and don't think about what they're saying or hearing (#sad, #thehumancondition, #whocares). at my old coffee shop, we'd try to go through entire transactions without saying anything but 'thank you' because people naturally say it/expect it, even when it doesn't make any sense in context of the conversation. instead of getting confused, customers usually got caught up in it, too.

customer: "hey, how's it going"

me: "thank you"

customer: (99% of people breeze past the first one cause they don't care about the response anyway) "right on. um, medium iced coffee"

me: "thanks"

customer: (looks confused. looks at total on the register, hands over money) "here you go, thanks."

me: "thank you." (make change, hand it back)

customer: "thanks"

me: "thank you."

oh god this is good :lol:

[mr fluffernutter]

oh god this is good :lol:

i thought it made him sound like a prick with a through-the-roof sense of entitlement

but it was funny

[dovo]

Was at work last night. It was pretty slow for a Friday night so I was chillin for the most part in customer service. So the regular lines start getting long and we start taking purchases.

My manager brings over some people (Some random dude, & a lady & her daughter who well call the "duo") right when this lady (old lady) was walking up to the customer service line. They got there around the same time so the Old lady was like "Excuse me theres a line here"

And the random guy was like oh they told us to come over here. And youd think that was the end of it but no sir.

All of a sudden the daughter of the duo who looks like some hot topic metal demi-goddess starts telling her mom right infront of me.

"You need to stop being so nice to people...especially strangers. Look at that owl looking at us look at her starting at me (old lady wasnt staring by the way) So the mom is like "shhh..shhh. stop it stop it" but the bitch keeps at it. By this time, me and the dude who was helping them already had that sketchy feeling about these two but fuck it.

So theyre walking away and the daughter says something to the old lady and the old lady snapped back (apparently she called the chick a whore in her language) Thats when the mom goes ape shit runs back like "bitch you called my daughter a whore fuck you fuck you" walking towards the lady so the old lady steps up thinking its just going to be an argument then the Duo decides to take it up a notch and the mom was like

"come on you third world bitch you wanna go? Lets do this right here right now" The daughters chimes in with this weird screech (ill try to type it) "eeeaaaaaaaaaarwwwwwwwarar come on you old bitch do something DOOOO IIIIIIIIIIT SHELL FUCK YOU UP, FUCK HER UP MOM FUCK HER UP FUCK HER UP. leeets do this"

Meanwhile im standing at the counter with this chick i was helping trying to tell them to chill.

Finally we kick them out and the duos still going "come on you old bitch ill be waiting for you in the parking lot im going to fuck you up"

If you cant tell by now the old lady is scared as fuck.

Then out of nowhere this dude who seems to be the father/husband is like "shut the fuck up and get your ass in the car. youre not doing shit"

"but but we want to fuck her up"

"shut the fuck up and get upstairs. the fucks the matter with you"

Theyre finally gone.

So the lady i was helping (who was hot as fuck by the way with that fake ass kate upton swag so you know I was already nervous) was like

wooow. at least you got some excitement in your night that was crazy huh? Ive never seen anything like that.

(I looked in her eyes when she said that. This is where I fucked up eye contact fucked up my mentals)

So my response was "Yeah I nevjuansabub"

What the fuck was that. She just looked at me and was like uhm ok well thanks and left. After that like seven minute ordeal all I could come up with was that? I am one shy ass motherfucker.

[rgray]

(ill try to type it) "eeeaaaaaaaaaarwwwwwwwarar

holy fuck. i'm really glad you tried to type that hah.

[Lozinski]

Hahaha Dovo always delivers.

[OAS1S]

Was at work last night. It was pretty slow for a Friday night so I was chillin for the most part in customer service. So the regular lines start getting long and we start taking purchases.

does this mean you normally handle returns/exchanges/price adjustments/complaints instead of simply ringing people up? is this by your own choice or did they force the position on you?

[ke1]

uh huh ...

[dovo]

does this mean you normally handle returns/exchanges/price adjustments/complaints instead of simply ringing people up? is this by your own choice or did they force the position on you?

Yeah, Im in the "box" lol. For the most part were taking returns/exchanges but we ring people up from time to time. When I started there I was a cashier then I got pulled into to a dept and then I was placed in customer service. It was their idea but either way I prefer it over being a cashier. Its a bit more work & stressful at times but so much more entertaining. Plus im not really standing in the same place my entire shift. Im doing damges, walking around the store taking things to depts, and so on.

[phive-oh-won]

A recent conversation:

me: you should get a bike

female friend: nooo! if I got a bike, I would never walk anywhere and then I would get fat!

me: but if you had a bike, you could exercise and go long distances, and that would make you less fat

female friend: did you just say I was fat?

me: ummm....

[Ammit]

I added a girl on facebook a couple of months ago that I knew when I was in like elementary school who had good taste in music and was hot. She IM'd me today and said she missed me. I was confused, but I have a halting conversation with her before realizing that she meant to IM the other guy she's facebook friends with who has the same name as me. I stopped talking immediately afterwards.

[andrewisdope]

I've been nearsighted for a while but I would only need to wear glasses in lecture. I used to be able to walk around without them and still be able to see pretty clearly. Recently my visions gotten worse to the point where I really should be wearing my glasses all the time but fuck it I'm stubborn. I never wanted to be a glasses person, you know what i mean? I mean, I owned glasses, but I was never a glasses person.

Today I was walking down a hallway to class when I hear a "pssssst" come from behind me. I turn around and see two figures in the distance. It was only me and them in the hallway so I thought they were probably people I knew trying to call me. I stand there, smile, and say "wsup?" It ended up being two girls I've never seen in my life and they looked like this :confused::confused:. They were confused because I approached them out of nowhere. Then I had to explain to them that I didn't have my glasses and I thought they were calling me and shit and that was just agonizing. I think I mistook the "pssssst" for some other noise they made as they talked to themselves.

I need contacts.

[playdisonlyatnight]

get contacts

will change your life

i dont know how i went so long without em

[Guest Trophy Husband]

Hahahaha, a lot of you are extra awkward. These stories making me lolllllll.

[lmk1995]

if you get contacts, make sure you take them out before you fall asleep. nothing is more miserable than waking up with contacts fused to your cot damn cornea.

[okonomi]

Oh man that sounds awful. What the hell does one do in that circumstance?

[nism]

ugh i've only ever slept with contacts in like once. due to passing out.

it was like peeling stickers off your eyeballs.

but in all seriousness, GET CONTACTS. been wearing them since i was 13. with my terrible eyesight, wearing glasses gives me sleepy eyes and everything is so much smaller it kinda throws me off when i actually wear them. also with contacts you can just look left/right whereas with glasses you have to turn your head to get the perfect vision

[pokpok]

hurts like a bitch when u blink for a few days when your contacts get dried up and u take them off fuckin up your eyeball.

just happened a few days ago