Sex-Related War Stories

[Serge]

i hurt my ballz once

http://modblog.bmezine.com/wp-content/uploads/200708270827-pix1.jpg

That's messed up. My balls instantly started hurting when I saw that.

[onemancult]

one time i'd eaten some really spicy mexican food and the day after brought this hoe home to biznone and we biznoned she made nice with the slarp of my larp and i jackson pollocked on her face and she went to clean up and her face was bright red and a little puffy b/c of the peppars had made nice with my semen sperms and irritated her skin.

a little makeup and the trick was fine.

[MikeN]

as in the real, dick frenelum? jeeeeeesus christ, i just threw up faster than when i read some post in here about smegma.

i knew some girl who got her clit pierced, and it ripped out when she was taking off her panties.

I should've been more specific...I had my frenulum linguae pierced. The one under my tounge.

[cheep]

man...

-fucking this girl... shes riding me like a fucking mechanical bull... she come up a bit too much and when she came down i heard a pop... bent my dick in half and i coldnt fuck for days.

-lots of times fucking girls with tight pussys ive been so sore i cant fuck for a day or two

im sure theres more... but usually it goes just fine.

[ProfMonnitoff]

i thought magnificent's sister loved me

[Charlie Delta]

one time i'd eaten some really spicy mexican food and the day after brought this hoe home to biznone and we biznoned she made nice with the slarp of my larp and i jackson pollocked on her face and she went to clean up and her face was bright red and a little puffy b/c of the peppars had made nice with my semen sperms and irritated her skin.

a little makeup and the trick was fine.

Ahahaha I gave a girl red puffy marks once.

Don't think I had anything spicy the night before though.

Hitting an eye then must be painfull.

Also girls hardly get the actual clit pierced, it's the hood (or whatever it's called in english) most of the time. Actual clit pirecing is only for the uber hardcore...

[cheep]

Last nite my friend told me he ate this chicks pussy 6 separate times during one punani cranking session. He later told me that the little piece of skin that connects the tongue to his mouth* was partially torn from the violent slurping action, or what I like to refer to as "LURPING" Anywho, that got me to think about the various injuries I've sustained while doing my thing. I once threw out my back for about 2 weeks and actually had to see a chiropracter from angry sex. but other than that, pretty injury free (knock on wood).

*If someone can tell me the medical term for this connecting thing, I will +rape you.

just wondering... why did he have to do it for so long that his tongue tore? i can get a girl off in under 5 minutes usually by eating the puss, and less if shes already come once.

[JoOner]

i had to pee real bad once and whilst sexing up the chick was riding and i thought my bladder and prostate were going to blow besides that and back clawing and biting ive suffered no real "injury"

[seraphieL]

just wondering... why did he have to do it for so long that his tongue tore? i can get a girl off in under 5 minutes usually by eating the puss, and less if shes already come once.

Goddamn, I thought your first and second posts were from diddy at first, but then I looked at your name. Trickery.

[stuntastic]

- Same as Cheeps (girl going too high.)

- Girl riding too hard where her ass on the way down smacked my balls.

- Some girl giving a blowJ used her teeth. Fuckin hurts... FUCKIN HURTS... I cant dig that shit.

- Standing up, losing balance and tipping into the door. I mastered it now, but then, I was a noob at standing.

- Like OMC, fucking too long to where it hurt the next day for undapants.

I cant remember the rest...

Pulling a nut hurts... Like fuckin crazy... Never done it while sexing, but... Pulling a nut hurts...

[Guest jmatsu]

not really war, but more espionage. years ago when i was younger and inconsiderate i used to fuck around, i had a girlfriend who used to measure my infidelities on the amounts goo i ejaculated during a session (don't ask me why...she was mental). basically if the volume of my goo was scarce she'd raise hell about me cheating on her and shit (which i did).

so during one of our sessions i new i wasn't gonna shoot a very big wad. what to do? i manuvered her to doggy, pumped up the stereo, and hawked a huge phlem-ball as i shot on her back. thank god my phlem was bountiful and in full effect. it's volume mixed with the scarcity of man-juice was just enough to convince her that i hadn't cheated the other night and saved me from a night cry-bitch complaints.

oh...and once i shot a load into a girls eye, but everybody does that at least twice in their life, right??

[Bona Drag]

i new i wasn't gonna shoot a very big wad.

HOW U KNO DIS B4 IT HAPPN?????Q!?!?!?

[Guest jmatsu]

HOW U KNO DIS B4 IT HAPPN?????Q!?!?!?

cause i fucked another girl a couple hours before that.

[lestat]

just say u pulled dick recently... that shit works all the time...

[gfunkdocta]

i was expecting steamy lovemaking with women in iraq or gay escapades with mahmoud and his boyz.

this thread did not deliver.

[Fabulaz]

Sleazie, did your buddy's frenulum eventually heal?

[Mr Waffles]

bump for potential.

[dy616]

bump for potential.

very worthy grave digging.

-ecstasy + sex = 2 hours of fucking that alone feels like a constant orgasm. bonus points if she's rolling too. the climax itself is like a supernova.

-cop pulls up and cockblocks our backseat adventures. then he basically apologizes for cock blocking. cool guy, ended up talking about conan taking over late night.. still got a citation though.

-another backseat adventure: called a ceasefire amid crazy boning so my jeans wouldn't get caught in crossfire. only at the 2 month mark, didn't want to wash my pbj's prematurely. doing so killed the moment though.

[blm14]

Making dinner for the then-girlfriend with many many Serrano peppers, did not wear gloves while chopping, leads to her later on hopping around feeling very uncomfortable for about 20 minutes and me feeling really guilty at uncontrolled laughter.

Seriously, be careful where you put your fingers after chopping the spicy pepper, people.

[ColdTurkey]

I exploded into my girl's mouth and she choked and cough uncontrollably. Anyone else?

[Mr Waffles]

grammar police