University in Japan

[mizanation]

^^^ good advice.

[Guest jmatsu]

we've actually been right-there for awhile, so I don't think the transition would be so bad.

On top of that, Tokyo is a big city, so we wouldn't be together ALL THE TIME suddenly, which is why I think most couples fail, they're not used to that.

QUOTE]

this is off subject, but i thought i'd comment anyhow.

naturaljax,

for international relationships, there are only 2 possible endings. marriage or the breakup. seriously. i don't know the intricacies of your relationship, but even if you moved, sustaining a relationship for gaijin (in tokyo) is pretty difficult from what i hear/see. it takes money, and a pig portion of a foreigner's sensiblity has to be radically changed. don't move just for a girl.

you are still young see what the world's other women have to offer! and not to discourage you, but i guarantee if you ever make it to tko that you will cheat on your girl.

[naturaljax]

a couple responses!

to everyone, yes I realize moving for a girl is a dumb idea. that's why I wouldn't be doing that. I've other reasons for wanting to go there.

coldrice: I agree, without other motives it would be stupid to move there for no reason other than a girl. But since I've been to Tokyo, I've never been the same. How stupid does that sound? I know, but not just I have noticed it. My parents comment all the time how "I'm living here but my heart/mind is in Japan." It's a big problem for me financially and in my education because I spend my money to buy plane tickets there and then hundreds of dollars on shopping each time I go. Speading that expense out would be rather nice.

Plus, the university I'm considering specialized in international business / relations with America. It's not a bad college as far as I know, but the college I attend in America isn't "prestigious" either, just nice, like I feel the college I'd be attending there goes.

I know what people are saying, but they're basically naming the Ivy League school of Japan, and I'm far from that here as well.

jmatsu: haha I understand what you're saying and appreciate the advice but I know my girl. and I know myself. I won't cheat on her, I love her. And plus I know the chylamdia rates in Japan but seriously, I know what Tokyo has to offer in those ways and I'm not interested. She satisfies what I want and, at least according to her, I do the same. It's not a juvenille half thought through relationship, but I see what you're saying.

I think "the pig side" of me has been tamed long ago.

again I appreciate all your inputs and opinions, but I'm realizing this is probably a decision I'll have to make on my own, because my motivations and my personal experiences are what have led me to this crossroad in my life, so I think I might be the only one that can make the decision.

[Konfucius]

I say you just go for the summer, like someone mentioned earlier..

then do another year at UW and then if you still want to transfer, do it 2 semesters from now (i.e. fall 2008)

I mean.. the application deadline must be soon right? you probably shouldn't rush it. If you want to go for personal reasons, then fuck, just do it. Who cares if it won't benefit you 10 years from now. Live in the now man, live in the now

[artificialsky]

i assure you that your UW degree is worth a lot more than anything you'd get out of transferring.

[xcoldricex]

Plus, the university I'm considering specialized in international business / relations with America. It's not a bad college as far as I know, but the college I attend in America isn't "prestigious" either, just nice, like I feel the college I'd be attending there goes.

I know what people are saying, but they're basically naming the Ivy League school of Japan, and I'm far from that here as well.

yes but...

If you go to a sub-par university in Japan and can't speak fluent Japanese, it'll be hard to find a job both in Japan AND in the states. But having a degree from a US university is more prestigous/better than having one from the sub-par Japanese university. You should consider doing a year-long study broad program or a study fellowship instead. Then, after graduating from uni. you'll have a better edge in getting a masters here if you're so inclined.

if japan is anything like what i hear its like and if its like any of the other asian countries - college is the easy part of the education system and is used mostly to make connections with people you'll be working with in the future.. in most of the asian countries i travelled to and had the chance to talk with the locals - getting INTO college is the hardest part - you bust your ass to get into a namebrand school and you party your ass off in college.

if that's really the case - you'd be wasting your time especially if you weren't in a namebrand school - if you want to work in Japan, a US degree probably > non-namebrand Japanese school degree...

another alternative is to just take a year off and see how you like living in Japan - then deciding where to go from there.

[herpsky]

yes but...

getting INTO college is the hardest part - you bust your ass to get into a namebrand school and you party your ass off in college.

quoted for truth.

my parents attended college in japan and

most of my friends who aren't in med school (it's a six year undergrad program) never go to class, party all the time, fuck around, and etc

[dismalfuture]

Everyone else summed it up, but I pondered this question many times back in the day... before I even started college I had one of those last-minute escape thoughts/freak outs and had bags packed.

My school did exchanges with Sophia too, I never liked the idea of Sophia. It's not that highly rated among the Japanese universities and as rice said, school in Asia is all about playing. In addition, playing in Asia is largely determined by location/neighborhood. If I were to pick a college based on that, I'd pick Aoyama so I'd have a reason to be down there all day.

The suggestion of Temple Tokyo is a good one based on what you think you want, but the reality is that it's not a Japanese college and you'd probably find it to be strange experience, and Temple Tokyo is like 1 building in Azabu and that'd depress the hell out of me if my college experience didn't involve a real campus or anything.

To echo everyone else, yes, your American degree is/will be golden. That and an American passport and you have keys all over the world.

If you really need to do it, study abroad for a year or even two. I studied abroad in college with the intention of a semester and enjoyed myself so much that I kept extending and ended up doing 2 and a half years overseas, over 60 hrs.

If you really need to be in Tokyo, I think the wisest thing would be to just hurry up and graduate man. By that time if you still want to be there, you can go, and if you decide that you don't, you won't be out the chance of getting your American degree. If you're worried about chances of getting there, then look into building yourself up for that; work your way into the fields that allow foreigners to work in Japan (there's very few that bring in entry-level workers) and maybe consider transferring yourself into a more prestigious uni in America, brand name colleges are important to Asians because they honestly know very few colleges and think highly of the ones they do know.

blah blah blah, etc etc.

[poly800rock]

another thing you have to consider is cost. not just school but going out and living. I went to school in providence, and was piss poor. I used to sell promo cd's from the radio station to get money for going out, expenses, etc. Before that, I used to pay for pizza with fucking loose change (ever pay for an $8 meal with dimes and nickels (quarters you use for laundry)? Since you've been to Tokyo, you already know how expensive it is. I'm not even factoring any shopping. But being piss broke, not being able to get a job because of visa issues, in one of the most exciting cities in the world is probably the most depressing idea you could imagine....tokyo's not going anywhere. Your college experiences go by very quickly. You're a freshman, you might think you're in love, but there a millions of fish in the sea and if it was meant to be, than you'll end up together eventually. By moving out there you're forcing a bad situation that would probably jepordize your future career. You have to weigh out if that's really worth it for you.

[Kasper]

But being piss broke, not being able to get a job because of visa issues, in one of the most exciting cities in the world is probably the most depressing idea you could imagine....

guess i'd step in and say that japanese student visa gives you the right to work 20 hours a week when you have school and full time otherwise. finding a part-time job teaching english can be done in a matter of hours for a native speaker and it usually pays around 30$ and hour so in terms of money to go out and have fun, it's definitely doable.

[MilSpex]

guess i'd step in and say that japanese student visa gives you the right to work 20 hours a week when you have school and full time otherwise. finding a part-time job teaching english can be done in a matter of hours for a native speaker and it usually pays around 30$ and hour so in terms of money to go out and have fun, it's definitely doable.

I was pretty dumb at japanese but I still got a one time scholarship of $3K, I had money saved up, I had income from Australian Govt study allowance plus I worked 12-20 hours a week eikaiwa. I had enough money. spent every cent in harajuku. dont regret it.

[cuddlysheep]

if you guys are still together in a year after she left you. then you proved me wrong.if not,then i was right all along.

a couple responses!

to everyone, yes I realize moving for a girl is a dumb idea. that's why I wouldn't be doing that. I've other reasons for wanting to go there.

coldrice: I agree, without other motives it would be stupid to move there for no reason other than a girl. But since I've been to Tokyo, I've never been the same. How stupid does that sound? I know, but not just I have noticed it. My parents comment all the time how "I'm living here but my heart/mind is in Japan." It's a big problem for me financially and in my education because I spend my money to buy plane tickets there and then hundreds of dollars on shopping each time I go. Speading that expense out would be rather nice.

Plus, the university I'm considering specialized in international business / relations with America. It's not a bad college as far as I know, but the college I attend in America isn't "prestigious" either, just nice, like I feel the college I'd be attending there goes.

I know what people are saying, but they're basically naming the Ivy League school of Japan, and I'm far from that here as well.

jmatsu: haha I understand what you're saying and appreciate the advice but I know my girl. and I know myself. I won't cheat on her, I love her. And plus I know the chylamdia rates in Japan but seriously, I know what Tokyo has to offer in those ways and I'm not interested. She satisfies what I want and, at least according to her, I do the same. It's not a juvenille half thought through relationship, but I see what you're saying.

I think "the pig side" of me has been tamed long ago.

again I appreciate all your inputs and opinions, but I'm realizing this is probably a decision I'll have to make on my own, because my motivations and my personal experiences are what have led me to this crossroad in my life, so I think I might be the only one that can make the decision.

[mizanation]

hey, if it's true love, go for it, man.

i know where cuddlysheep is coming from. many girls in japan who date white dudes or black dudes only think of them like fashion accessories. sadly, many of my non-japanese friends in japan understand this all too well and kinda expect being treated like a flavor of the month.

but if you find one that isn't like that, she's a keeper!

[cuddlysheep]

atleast someone here feels me. i mean,i wish you and the girl best of luck and the whole nine. but im just sayin though..proteck ya neck son..cause it might get grimey.pz

hey, if it's true love, go for it, man.

i know where cuddlysheep is coming from. many girls in japan who date white dudes or black dudes only think of them like fashion accessories. sadly, many of my non-japanese friends in japan understand this all too well and kinda expect being treated like a flavor of the month.

but if you find one that isn't like that, she's a keeper!

[naturaljax]

well, we've been together for 11.5 months right now, so I guess that's more than just a "flavor of the month" type thing

[dismalfuture]

jax, I know everyone here is basically telling you to not put all your eggs into one basket and you want to do what you think is the right thing (which is right, in some innocent, naive way) but consider these things;

-You will land a better-paying/more sustainable career path in Japan if you acquire a degree from an American university, and only in a field that hires young foreigners to work in Japan. Otherwise you'd look at waiting tens of years for a window and may never get one. Look them up, there aren't that many. If you graduate from a Japanese university, yes, you might possibly get a job, but what kind of job that might be, who knows? You would be competing in the domestic job market in Japan against people who speak Japanese natively, possibly English fluently, and have the same level as, or more likely, much much better domestic university degrees as you. In Asia and particularly Japan dude, you don't really get to pick jobs, jobs pick you, unless you're a really elite motherfucker.

-The wisest thing, as I said before, would be to consider studying abroad there and then going back after graduating. You could stagger study abroad years with your girlfriend so that you would go there for a year and she could come the year after, giving you two out of four years together and neither side would jeopardize college educations or career opportunities.

-Let me play the devil's advocate here and play it back from what I see; you've been together for 11.5 months, but how long have you been really together, as in seeing each other, spending the night with each other on a regular basis, really living with each other to prove to each other you are boyfriend/girlfriend material?

In addition, seeing as you said she just completed her admission to university, that's pegging around the 18-19 year old mark? Dude, she's not even a true adult in Japan in that case. Most Japanese women don't have nor do they want serious relationships/experience with men at that age. To be honest, a lot of Japanese women and Asian women in general have open attitudes towards relationships during college years/youth, but very differing standards when it comes to long-term relationships/accepting terms and conditions/marriage. One is more romantic, one is very firmly practical.

Referring back to point one, and talking about way way in the future, if you're bringing home the cheese or the opposite, bringing home the average Japanese salaryman's benefit package, then you can expect the same level out of a long-term relationship with that person. This is all obvious, but in Asia, where people live on top of each other all day and night, and where college for Asian kids is to be blunt, a big fuckfest/catch-up crash course on how to be an adult, the odds are against you man.