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5 Most Annoying Types of People at Parties


JesseJB

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Well, including most of the aforementioned types, such as the Mother Hen and the know-it-all philosopher douche, southern college parties also boast...

1) The guy who's too scared to talk to anyone he doesn't know, so he follows your ass around

2) Dude in the silly ass hat. I hate silly ass hats.

3) Corny white girls crankin' Soulja Boy to vanilla music.

4) Polo'd out Fiji elephant walk-grads whippin' their 1mm toothpicks out to impress drunk sorostitutes.

5) The shady dude in the kitchin fiddlin' with pill bottles in his hoody, planting shit in the drinks. Only seen this once. He was kicked out 'fore anyone got raped.

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1. the mooody loner ian curtis type who shows up really early. what the fuck? you turned up two hours before the party so you could stomp around by yourself upstairs?

2. fat cheshire-cat-grinning guys who take your booze and put cigarettes out on your shoes and then just sit there like "me so horny".

3. militant non-smokers. like, it's cool if the host's girlfriend tells me to smoke outside because andrew doesn't want any more cigarette butts in his bathroom, but otherwise odds are i had your cancer in mind when i took up smoking.

4. people who complain about music. shit, i don't care if potbelliez is playing. deal. yeah, i hate it too. no, i'm not going to go over to patrick's ipod and "kanye the shit out of this bitch". you're on your own. yeah i could go and enforce some quality control but the instant i turned my back we'd be right where we started. so get the fuck used to it or stop going to parties where that shit gets played.

5. party hoppers. nothing pisses hosts off more. like, i'm soo sorry i didn't stay long enough to say happy birthday but emma really wanted to go to myles' thing in the city. this ties in with the whole "arrive together, leave together" and mother hen "WE are LEAVING" archetypes.

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in no particular order ...

NUMBER FUCKING ONE MOST ANNOYING TYPE OF PERSON AT A PARTY.. the ugly/fat girl who you made fun of relentlessly like 2 years ago and is clost talking about how she just wants to be friends and she's sorry you made fun of her .. i cant describe exactly how this goes down but if you've been there you've fucking been there

NUMBER TWO

close talkers in general

NUMBRE MOTHERFUCKING THREE

girls crying

NUMBER FOUR

the sober girls who complain about the music and make fun of people

NUMBER FIVE

edited: the guy in fedora, turqoise shirt, and baggy jeans who is out for the first time in his life

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5. fuckers being sober. this one girl at a party was doing her fucking homework! wtf is that!?

Again, no problem with sober people in general, but what the hell? Did she just hear about a party, get up, and decide to bring her math book along with her?

(On a completely unrelated note, at least two captains and a bunch of people from my track team got busted at a party on Saturday night. Atheletic comp. rules state that if you're caught with alcohol/drugs, you're off the team..)

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Most have already been mentioned, but whatever.

5. I hate the "one-upper". Sure, you have a nice job where you bank for doing nothing all day. Your car is the fastest fucking thing around. That shit's your life and you have no personality.

4. The alpha male. I wish I could be like you when I grow up, tough guy.

3. Stuck up bitches. Just because I'm talking to you doesn't mean I want to fuck you. You're really not that interesting, anyway. Get over yourself. Ironically, this chick is oftenly the "mother hen" type that thinks I'm not her friend's type.

2. People not having fun. It's a party, shit. Meet some new people or do something, god damn. You're bringing everyone down while you mope on the couch.

1. Giggly drunk girls. Yeah, you're drunk and I told a moderately funny joke. I really don't want to spend the next 15 minutes trying to get a word in between your giggle fits. It doesn't really matter anyway, since you've most likely got a one-way ticket to pukeville and I'm not holding the hair during that trainride.

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1. haters

2. girls the wont talk to you if youre not of their race

3. maddoggers, why did you come to the party?

4. those sons of bitches that get close as fuck to talk to you when they get drunk

5. SOBs that bring liqour and don't want to give it to you if youre a guy. No apparently they only brought it for their 'hOMiEZ' and for females.

6. Bitches that show up to just be there, don't really want to participate. Oh you're just here because you're friend wanted you to come? Oh, she's the sorta fat one over there huh. Apparently theyre over this whole partying thing. They're dating an older guy you know.

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those dudes that think they know you and try to come correct.

fuck them.

and those girls that get so drunk that they fuck some random dude in the middle of the floor in front of everyone.

well actually thats kinda funny. lol

youtube the vid

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those dudes that think they know you and try to come correct.

fuck them.

and those girls that get so drunk that they fuck some random dude in the middle of the floor in front of everyone.

well actually thats kinda funny. lol

Some fat girl let herself get fisted on table outdoors at this party a year ago. There is even a facebook support group for people who witnessed it. I saw the guy a few months later at a pizza place. I don't know how he went on living with those hands.

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1.) the guy who watched "the pickup artist" on vh1 over the summer and now wears a top hat and goggles, but doesn't actually talk to any girls

2.) the guy who learned all those "cool beer bottle tricks" (blowing out the bottom of the bottle, etc) on youtube, and constantly asks if you're done with your beer

3.) the "oh, i just happen to have my acoustic guitar, yeah lemme play that new shins song for you" guy

4.) the guys that go to the nearest computer and try to show you a bunch of funny internet videos

5.) fatties dancing on the bar

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  • 9 months later...

3.) the "oh, i just happen to have my acoustic guitar, yeah lemme play that new shins song for you" guy

i agree, fucking bastards

1. drunk female friends who tell you over and over again not to judge them cause they're drunk

2. retarded alpha males

3. normally nice girls who are friends who become total fucking sluts for the aforementioned retarded alpha males once they have a single smirnoff ice in them

4. incredibly loud people

5. ugly chicks

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1. friend's drunk korean dude friends - some of them get the idea of "I'm your elder and you have to respect me" bullshit.. suck my dick.. I don't even know you or understand half of the words you said

(but a select few are actually not that bad and start buying you a bunch of drinks even though you don't know them because they think you have some sort of gay connection with them because you both have korean backgrounds haha)

2. friend's drunk korean girl friends - they get drunk via 3 beers. get into huge fights with and yell at their girl friends, boyfriends, family members, and when they have no one else to go after, they go attack bartenders. then afterwards they cry hysterically about why bad things always happen to good people.. really bitches?

that's the last time I do my friend a favor by keeping him company at one of his korean friend's get togethers..

3. random dudes outside while I'm having a cigarette.. okay, it's cool to chit-chat when everyone's having a cigarette outside of a party.. but end the conversation when I'm done my cigarette and I'm making obvious motions and gestures that I want to go back inside (walk towards the door, put my hand on the doorknob, etc).. when I tell you "I'll catch you inside", it means "I'll catch you inside"

4. overly defensive new boyfriends of friends.. dude, I'm just talking to my friend who happens to be your new girlfriend.. what's with the hard looks?

5. stupid bitches - pretty much self-explanatory

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1) mother hen, bears repeating

2) girl who has to take a picture of everyone and with every group so she can add 824792384928598273540245 new pics every weekend on facebook, likely in a new album called "september 30th CLuBbIn with the GURLZ"

3) people who want to or try to start fights

4) guys who gather in the corner to stare at girls like rapists

5) the bro who checks out my gf and "accidentally" walks into her when it's obvious she's with me

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  • 3 weeks later...

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