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superconfessional II: the sequel

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edit: goddamnit, archer.

Edited by po_boy_fuuma_hatesbürgerz

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the only church's chicken i've ever eaten at was in n philadelphia. shit was disgusting every time and gave u the runs instantly.

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I had bad "specialty" coffee the other day. As the thoughts formed, I realized what a dick thing it was to come to that realization.

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I had bad "specialty" coffee the other day. As the thoughts formed, I realized what a dick thing it was to come to that realization.

 

dw about that hipster opinion 

 

bad coffee is bad coffee man 

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^ thank you for the affirmation, I promise to never feel guilty about that thought again

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My girl got a shelter cat today, time to dump her.

 

i tried looking for this thing we came up years ago drinking, but its the cat acquisition velocity equation, where you plug in # of cats owned, time to acquisition and we figured out if you acquire 2+ cats within 6 months you're probably never getting laid again

 

also you should have gotten her a cat instead man "get pussy for some pussy" 

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i remember a while back, a friend of mine said I could be a bit intimidating...indirectly at that time so i didn't think much of it. He usually talks straight to me but i guess thats one of the few awkward moments we ever had in 10+ years.

i just realized how sometimes people may perceive me as confident, maybe even a tad over too much of, oh, she thinks shes all that.

but I have to build my confidence up to cover over the fact that i'm really self-conscious. I can be a strong person, when it comes to topics i'm passionate about. but, i don't take compliments well. i hate looking weak in front of others. i don't want people to pity me...and somehow i end up looking like i don't need anyone because of it, when really i just hate to be imposing or, worse, a burden.

sometimes i feel like a socially awkward person whose just a really good actress, and i'm in one of those movies where only the first one is good, but than the sequel, you're exposed. everyone knows the 2nd, 3rd, etc isn't good as the original (1st).

Edited by whitney

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Over due superconfessional post.. warning, a long one!

 

tl;dr: I'm stupid, too nice, i'm really worried rn.

 

 

So i've been in a serious year-and-a-half long relationship with a girl at met at uni last year. When we first started hanging out, I knew she was a drug addict (she was trying to get clean at the time, really straighten her life out), also diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and recently, ADHD. She was awesome though, so empowered and creative. Sharp and ready for anything. After hanging out and messing around more, we started to get serious about our feelings we had for each other. I knew it would be a lot of work to be in this relationship.. she even once started crying about how she might ruin my life. But I wanted to be with her and help in anyway I could (I recently read my horoscope star chart.. turns out i'm attracted to people that need help lol gotta evaluate that), and support her. 

 

But I never thought it would turn into this.

 

What followed other than the great times we had, were just lies, more drugs, and madness. She'd relapse, i'd take care of her while she's in withdrawal. When she's stood me up, i've just dealt with it like its no problem. She's lied to me so many times about where she is, who she's with, etc. it's just been so disrespectful. But I always find a place in my heart to forgive her though, often chalking it up to the lies being a symptom of her addiction or just her anxiety overcoming her decisions. I do believe that those were true for some cases, and she really does have issues to deal with. Things got so bad last school-year she had to take a break from a couple quarters. Anyways after drama, as soon as she came back to SD at the end of summer, things went nuts. Her sister finds a drug baggie, tells her parents, gf tells me that they are pulling her out of school. The first day I get to see her out of months of not and missing her, i'm taking her to the airport to send her home. As I walked her to security, i glanced down and noticed she was texting her junkie ex bf. I demanded to know what the fuck was going on right now. She then confessed that she was being kicked out of her home, and that the ex(?) was the only person she could think of in that she could stay with (...um but what about me). I just left, went to my car and sat. This was for sure a deal breaker. The next day I find out from her sister that her parents never kicked her out of the home, she wanted to leave (which would explain why she told me she had to buy the plane ticket). I also get sent screen shots of texts from her friend, where she's telling her that she still loves the ex. I text her saying that this is done. She says okay, understands, etc.. The next day she's back in SD as she has mended things with her parents. We meet up so I can give her shit back, but maybe you guessed this next part.. she convinced me to get back together with her! I also rationalized it to how we both talked about her coming back from her break as another chance for us, and it was something I held on to. How could I be so stupid? Anyways, after that it hardly feels like a relationship. I only see her maybe once or twice a week; talk, fuck, talk, dip. Never real quality time anymore, and its always cut short with a bullshit lie of an excuse. After weeks of her lying to me about shit, I finally confronted her and said that I was fine with not having a relationship, that I didn't care if she was seeing that junkie. At this point I just wanted something real with her, something honest to where she wouldn't have to worry and lie.  I just wanted her to be real with me. She insisted that she wanted to be with only me, and that the trust issues were something we could work through- I said okay. My friends have said that she's never going to tell me the truth, and they're probably right. There's pretty clear evidence that she's been hanging with the dude, and when I call her out on it she can still just lie to me like its nothing? I'm just too nice, naïve.. I think i've put up with this for so long because I tend to see the good in people, especially loved ones, and I forget the consequences of the other side. I still love her, and believe she can succeed, etc. I still think she's the awesome person she's always been, and its really sad to think about how drugs have really screwed with her life.. but I was down because she seemed so determined to get better, where I'm willing to be with her as long as she's willing to put the work into it too; even though she knows what to do to get better, her depression and addiction leads her to poor choices (see me rationalizing). But this relationship is no longer a two-way street, and its sad that I've only started realizing this a week ago. She just needs help. Help that I can't give. This is driving me crazy, everyone can see it, and I need to start caring about myself more. 

 

However, right now I have no idea where she is. Last week I was supposed to pick her up from school, and when I got to the pick-up spot she wasn't there. I called her phone, went straight to voice mail. I just chalked it up to another episode of not following through, and sent her an angry text. I still haven't heard from her, her phone is still going to voicemail, and I only found out yesterday that her sister doesn't know where she is either. She could be with the dude, which would honestly be the better scenario. It's not the first time she's just cut off and went dark for a while, but I'm very worried because this was so sudden, and I know her depression has been very bad lately; i'm afraid she's hurt. 

Edited by tac0tron

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damn, it's clear you had a lot to get off your chest. to be blunt, the girl sounds fucking toxic and *i*, personally, would've washed my hands of her once i saw the writings on the wall. i don't know what kind of drugs she be on but all junkies possess the ability to lie without batting an eyelash (especially to themselves)...that's not the kind of person you want to be investing stress/feelings/time into--look at what's happening now with her going awol and you being worried.

 

and for your sake, please don't place the way you are/how things transpired on some "higher power" like some silly horoscope crap (forer effect). i think that would be a start to get you on the right track. i mean there are a lot of people in need of help so why her? is it simply because she was in close proximity and you guys were able to mutually give each other a lot of attention? gotta ask yourself these questions i feel.

 

i think you should def listen to your friends cause judging from past experiences, it's very likely that they spent a minute deliberating among themselves about wtf you were getting yourself into (e.g. "i hope he snaps out of it and sees the truth, etc."). shit's gotta actually get even worse from there/go on for much longer than anticipated for them to feel like they need to step in and tell you what's up.

 

just my quick 2 cents

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@tac0tron.  if we could only control our feelings to be in-line with our heads. gosh darn it.

 

i ordered a necklace for my sis... it takes four weeks to arrive, which is fine because I ordered it well in advance for her bday.

 

But now that it has arrived, I want one for myself.

 

I can order another one.

 

But than... I would have to wait four weeks :/

 

I should have seen this coming and just ordered two to begin with.

 

:mellow:  :(  :(

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I found out she's at least alive from her sis, so thats good. But this just means that she's completely ignoring me.. there's a huge part of me that really needs to confront her and just dig for the truth.. but maybe this is her way of telling me. Friends have been telling me that i'm probably just another problem that she's avoiding; she feels so bad for how shitty she's treated me versus how i've done her, that she doesn't even have the guts to tell me in my face that she doesn't want to be with me.

 

Its helped me realize that this is all really just an ego thing for me.. like i think I deserve some sort of answer or something. When in reality she doesn't owe me anything. 

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you know there's a point in the far future when the cockroaches have taken over and nuclear holocaust reigns, and all superfuture will be will be quidich posting old harvested photos of long-dead corny white girls. 

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Over due superconfessional post.. warning, a long one!

 

tl;dr: I'm stupid, too nice, i'm really worried rn.

 

 

So i've been in a serious year-and-a-half long relationship with a girl at met at uni last year. When we first started hanging out, I knew she was a drug addict (she was trying to get clean at the time, really straighten her life out), also diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and recently, ADHD. She was awesome though, so empowered and creative. Sharp and ready for anything. After hanging out and messing around more, we started to get serious about our feelings we had for each other. I knew it would be a lot of work to be in this relationship.. she even once started crying about how she might ruin my life. But I wanted to be with her and help in anyway I could (I recently read my horoscope star chart.. turns out i'm attracted to people that need help lol gotta evaluate that), and support her. 

 

tac0 you a good dude but damn you straight promoted yourself to general saveaho 

hope everything works out for you bro 

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I gave her stuff to her sister yesterday, still haven't heard from her, but i'm not waiting. 

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nothing really "alpha" about it, I just needed to do it out of self-respect. 

 

originally a letter was supposed to be delivered with the stuff, but i figured it just didn't matter. 

Edited by tac0tron

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Good thing you didn't include a letter. That's just dramatic as fuck and fishing for a response. If you're really done, then you're really done and there's nothing to be said. 

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I've never listened to hotline bling fully until just at first, cos we had it on karaoke...I just realized Drakes songs are hella easy to sing to even if ur hearing it just for the first time...also sad they didn't have right hand

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