superconfessional

[Magsåvningsreserven]

I delete every email I get from my in-laws without reading them. I don't care, I really don't.

this + your avy made me chuckle

[Jarvis]

I'm really drunk. And I'm not wearing any pants.

[DrMoBueno]

no misspelling=not really drunk

[Scais]

i can type just as well drunk as i can sober.

[DrMoBueno]

you're not 16

[duck sauce]

all this drying paint in my house is sending me into delirium

[sawn-off chef]

still awake, i am out of sleeping medication and have months of laundry to do, so lazy, so so lazy.

[roflobster]

no misspelling=not really drunk

i never misspell when drunk. in fact i try harder to spell everything correct

[skiniks]

i just missed the verdict in judge mathis because of explosive diarrhea.

[bouwnt]

When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and found she was having

twins. when they did another ultrasound a few weeks later, they discovered that i had

re-absorbed the other fetus. Do i regret this? no, i believe his

tissue has made me stronger. i now have the strength of a grown man

and a little baby

[Magsåvningsreserven]

you ate him didn't you

[PandaDenim]

I watch Desperate Housewives...and actually enjoy it.

help.

[CUTUP]

I would love to go to the bathroom in my own private litterbox

I was watching my cat take a dump and thought of how awesome it would be to just squat over a big box of sand, and then walk away.

Maybe I will cover sand back over my droppings, maybe I wont.

The mystery is all part of the magic

[tac0tron]

People say I act like an old person. I think I do too.

I can't wait to be old. (6)

[chuckster]

When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and found she was having

twins. when they did another ultrasound a few weeks later, they discovered that i had

re-absorbed the other fetus. Do i regret this? no, i believe his

tissue has made me stronger. i now have the strength of a grown man

and a little baby

Ohhh dear! a few years back they found my sister's twin inside her body in a cyst(spelled like that??) when she was an adult.hope that wont happen to you one day. it grew in her body! horror film stylee!

[eean]

^ takashi miike's Imprint anyone?

[broneck]

I have been buying/playing an obscene amount of magic cards lately.

[jeepster]

should I sell my magic cards so I can actually afford food?

[duck sauce]

do you want some of my magic beans?

[jeepster]

I'm really alright with having duck sauce on ignore. makes my browsing/posting easier.

[Akira]

When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and found she was having

twins. when they did another ultrasound a few weeks later, they discovered that i had

re-absorbed the other fetus. Do i regret this? no, i believe his

tissue has made me stronger. i now have the strength of a grown man

and a little baby

You're going to be one of those guys who later in life discovers that rather than being really fat they actually have a fetus growing in them.

[duck sauce]

[premiumsqueezed]

I told myself I'd never say it, but I'm getting a little lonely here.

[Orion]

I've never felt so unmotivated and uninterested in my whole life. You know that inspired feeling when you can't wait to get up and start the day? Definitely lacking in that.

[the Repeater]

You know that inspired feeling when you can't wait to get up and start the day?

No.

I mean, really, how many eternal optimists are there?

[Jimbo69]

Candide and Pangloss?

[NatseOklim]

[thomas_highstreet]

i just spent £800 on shoes. and my luggage is already @ 50kg. i'm such a dick.

[DrMoBueno]

don't worry, it's not your fault you can't live in mediocrity

[junglejane]

tommy have your junk shipped to wherever you're going, it will probably be cheaper thatn the overweight fees