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have you ever been disapointed by someone over and over...

fuck i have....and the worst thing is the person who i thought was my best friend...says that they cant deal with it when i am disapointed...like it is something bad i am doing to them expressing my disapointment....and yet they keep saying that they will do stuff and then not coming through...

i wish i was strong enough to just let go but so far i have believed them again and again...it is nice that i believe that they will follow through...

funny thing is that they have always said that it was disapointment that made them not follow through..the way i expressed it...

i am tired of being blamed for someone else's indecision...and our friendship just gets worse and worse...tired of being strung along....

actually i am tired of cowards altogether...

fuck man, i harsh get you. sometimes you really expect them to saysomething/dosomething and they just surprise you by just doing the exact opposite of what you hoped they'd do.

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well almost...they blame it upon my reactions to another recent disapointment...i was angry...fed up with it...and expressed it...

although given that i had not been able to express it properly before...i was too forceful with it...expressed a whole litany of things that had been bothering me for a long time...

new arrangements were made the next day....and broken at the last minute...

so that's why sometimes you and bizzy go by a couple of days without posting fits ...

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I really want to tell someone that the themes and subjects of their photography was much better back when he was at a very low point in his life, distraught and mildly suicidal sounding. His sublimation of the emotional wreckage he experienced was much more creative and interesting than the pictures he does nowadays.

I guess I'm happy for him that he's happy... but I hardly visit his flickr anymores.

have you ever been disapointed by someone over and over...

fuck i have....and the worst thing is the person who i thought was my best friend...says that they cant deal with it when i am disapointed...like it is something bad i am doing to them expressing my disapointment....and yet they keep saying that they will do stuff and then not coming through...

i wish i was strong enough to just let go but so far i have believed them again and again...it is nice that i believe that they will follow through...

funny thing is that they have always said that it was disapointment that made them not follow through..the way i expressed it...

i am tired of being blamed for someone else's indecision...and our friendship just gets worse and worse...tired of being strung along....

actually i am tired of cowards altogether...

GGrrrrr ... l CAN'T DEAL WITH ALL YOUR CRRRRAAAYZEY EXPECTATIONS HAPPY!!!!

AUGH! IT's UR FAULT BECAUSE YOU LOVE ME TOO MUCH!!!! :...(

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I wrote "big business is the cancer that killing America" on my scholarship apps. Mostly because I don't think I'm getting any scholarship money since the need base portion of it is gone (I got tons of money from GW that I had to report on my app), and there are probs people more deserving than me. I didn't really try too hard to answer the questions. I did a decent job though.

Also, Green & Black's chocolate is absolutely delicious. Dark chocolate + cherries? I could eat it foreva.

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yesterday night the wierdest shit happened to me:

i live in an bachelor suite by myself.. next door to my place is the garbag chute and the elevators on the other side. so basiclly no one's living on either side of the place. so yesterday night around 4am when i just finished drawing homeworks and was lying on the bed, havin an insomnia. it was all quiet. then all of sudden i hear this phone dialing tone from where the garbag chute is, waiting tone and all. and.. MY phone started ringing. picked it up. no sound.. listened for like 20 secs.. the other side hanged up. so i was like.. i must be tired. so i put the phone aside and tried to fall asleep. then, AGAIN, i hear this dialing tone out of NOWHERE, waiting tone, and my phone started to ring AGAIN. i picked up, no sound. hanged up again. creeped the living shit out of me.. i turned my phone off and fell asleep after. checked this morning the two calls, number was hidden. but there were two calls that i picked up yesterday night.creepy.

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so i broke up with a girl today. pretty unhappy with having to do so (she was a great girl, just didn't love her) and definitely needed company tonight.

so all my core friends are going "naw man, i'm busy...i have to see my girlfriend tonight"

for fuck's sake

Straight guys are all douchebags, they like their man to man relationships to be kept simple, no girly emotions.

Thats why gays and girls are the best friends a guy can get.

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so... I'm making a trouser-like contraption in denim and surprisingly - even though I only made the pattern from scratch using a 10cm ruler and my floor for measurements and that my sewing machine works evenly - I managed to make something fairly satisfying for now. I'm impressed that I lasted this long.

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I'm pretty drunk right now and it's cool because if I misspell shit, Safari will pick it up and give me this cool red dotted line underneath and show that I am drunk. Safari has anti drunk detection. (And anti retard detection...it's all a matter of how you look at it I guess)

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yesterday night the wierdest shit happened to me:

i live in an bachelor suite by myself.. next door to my place is the garbag chute and the elevators on the other side. so basiclly no one's living on either side of the place. so yesterday night around 4am when i just finished drawing homeworks and was lying on the bed, havin an insomnia. it was all quiet. then all of sudden i hear this phone dialing tone from where the garbag chute is, waiting tone and all. and.. MY phone started ringing. picked it up. no sound.. listened for like 20 secs.. the other side hanged up. so i was like.. i must be tired. so i put the phone aside and tried to fall asleep. then, AGAIN, i hear this dialing tone out of NOWHERE, waiting tone, and my phone started to ring AGAIN. i picked up, no sound. hanged up again. creeped the living shit out of me.. i turned my phone off and fell asleep after. checked this morning the two calls, number was hidden. but there were two calls that i picked up yesterday night.creepy.

that would be me.

rather

that would be the spirit of my PM that is still waiting for your glorious response. feeeeeeed me

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