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i honestly have no willpower

today i drank 4 liters of dr pepper and now i feel gross. and i danced all day to 80's funk jams while staring at an unfinished resume.

the only reason i'm not shittered is cos booze is stupid expensive here

i think i just need a montage to straighten out tho

you have plenty of willpower, just stress depletes it

http://www.fourhourworkweek.com/blog/2012/08/12/understanding-the-dangers-of-ego-depletion/

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You all need to start doing cardio if you're this depressed. Put on your favorite mixtape or heavy album and just pound out three miles, no matter how long it takes you. Then tell me you're depressed.

Edited by scientifick
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i honestly have no willpower

today i drank 4 liters of dr pepper and now i feel gross. and i danced all day to 80's funk jams while staring at an unfinished resume.

the only reason i'm not shittered is cos booze is stupid expensive here

i think i just need a montage to straighten out tho

booze is never too expensive man. shit is essential. I throw booze in with living costs (housing/food/transportation)

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the only time i tried running when i was desperately detoxing for a job interview. i felt fucking terrible after each run. turns out i have nostrils that are too small and congested for proper running breathing and one of those heart conditions where if i overexert myself i might drop dead so my heart was not having fun.

i considered picking up running again when gyakusou fw11 came out but fuck that imma chill. i agree with sawyer that we have to accept and appreciate our natural dispositions sometimes. i've really learned to enjoy periods when i'm feeling fucking shit and negative and disgusting and evil for no reason, because it helps when i'm trying to be creative lol

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Fucking 2012, my ex of 9 years broke up w/ me. She never told me why. Just walked out of my life with out good bye. And, this probably should be reserved for superawkward, but I live two doors away from her in the same apt complex. I haven't run into her since because our schedules are completely different. She's in law school and I work two jobs. Love is a fucking wild ride.

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yo i HATE feeling like this. ppl around me can tell theres something wrong w me so I've isolated myself so i don't break down.

i want to move back home but don't want family in my life thinking they have the right to intrude on my business.

the only conclusion I've come up with is that i need to move far away. I'm scared as fuck.

also, i might need therapy.

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I'm increasingly feeling this desperate hopelessness at what is going on in my life. I've become more and more disillusioned with my degree and I worry that I'm becoming some boring guy who can't hold a coherent conversation with any intelligent person because I'm just not interested in anything I'm learning so I don't retain any facts I could use in debate. Doing the bare minimum work needed to get by at uni. all my spare time is spent on useless shit like video games, TV, trawling the internet, or rockclimbing. stopped going to the gym, stopped learning languages outside of uni, stopped doing much out of the ordinary for lack of time, money or motivation.

a bunch of my friends are out in the workforce, or off doing other things and apart from some decent advances in rockclimbing, and getting married, i feel like i'm pretty much the same guy i was mid-2010, just marking time - stuck in the same casual jobs makin' that rentmoney and gradually getting left behind. I'm also becoming less and less employable as the end of my degree approaches and I still don't have much professional experience but I just can't figure out what I want to do so there's no drive to get out there and find a proper job.

wat2kop to solve existential crisis?

tl;dr - I'm worried I'm not doing anything with my life

fuck

Edited by philosophiliac
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I'm increasingly feeling this desperate hopelessness at what is going on in my life. I've become more and more disillusioned with my degree and I worry that I'm becoming some boring guy who can't hold a coherent conversation with any intelligent person because I'm just not interested in anything I'm learning so I don't retain any facts I could use in debate. Doing the bare minimum work needed to get by at uni. all my spare time is spent on useless shit like video games, TV, trawling the internet, or rockclimbing. stopped going to the gym, stopped learning languages outside of uni, stopped doing much out of the ordinary for lack of time, money or motivation.

a bunch of my friends are out in the workforce, or off doing other things and apart from some decent advances in rockclimbing, and getting married, i feel like i'm pretty much the same guy i was mid-2010, just marking time - stuck in the same casual jobs makin' that rentmoney and gradually getting left behind. I'm also becoming less and less employable as the end of my degree approaches and I still don't have much professional experience but I just can't figure out what I want to do so there's no drive to get out there and find a proper job.

wat2kop to solve existential crisis?

tl;dr - I'm worried I'm not doing anything with my life

fuck

Yeah, I've got some of that too. School is boring, life is hard. I just do something I remember as being fun, and it normally brings me back. Just do something you love. Don't let these feelings spiral as it only gets worse. Other people won't be able to help as much as you want, your happiness is on you. good luck.

Ever since I got a tablet, I have not been able to pay attention in any classes, apart from my studio courses. I also really need to get working on my portfolio so I can move forward with my degree but the amount of material I need to document is overwhelming and makes me ignored it entirely. I need to compartmentalize.

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I have had 6 girls who I considered my girlfriends (say dated for more than a month), one before college and the rest after my first 2.5 years of college, mostly because I was too fucked up to date during that time. Recently, I realized that they ALL had engineer dads, ALL (well one of them had an architect dad but it counts).

Something tells me there's no conclusion to draw here. But did I tell you that the amount of time I stayed with them is proportional to their dad's career success?

I guess I shouldn't think about this too much.

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