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i kind of understand clopek because every time i've cheated on a gf (2) i really didn't care about the girl i was cheating with, i just cared about the one i was cheating on. idk for me at that point you just have some girl in front of you and you just go for it and then what. theres always some huge relationship stress behind it too, not that cheating is a solution, its not, but at least it makes you recognize that. so i get it. that said, i'm really not trying to cheat on anyone ever again. she cheated on me and we were long distance for a while and it just sort of became acceptable. it wasn't someone i had with me and was in a happy relationship with.

so idk. its really more complicated than just its always wrong, i think, even though it is always wrong. if that makes sense.

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rather than address that relationships aren't perfect, and put effort into something that was once meaningful, you're supposed to just bail on someone who loves you, like they were some means to an end that's no longer doing the job you need it to?

imo this is an important point. i've felt like ending it a couple of times with my girl but we both put in a lot of effort and in the end we are both better off having set aside our differences and learning from our mistakes. relationships are things that need a constant input of energy, otherwise it will just fall apart. if you can't be assed to do that then just spear yourself and your girl/dude a lot of pain and don't commit

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No, I can definitely say it's always wrong. Unless you both agree that you're in an open relationship, going behind the back of a person that you supposedly care about and doing the most unloyal shit possible in a relationship is not right. How can someone even justify it? That's just complete selfishness. You're trying to have your cake and eat it too. You don't want to leave the person you're with, but you still want to act single and hookup with other girls because it makes you feel good about yourself.

Your girlfriend cheated on you? How did it make you feel exactly? You chose to forgive her and stay with her, which is a big move on your part. This is about forgiving her and moving on from something shitty that happened, not an open invitation for you to fuck someone else without recourse. Instead of having that spite built up in you, you could have broken up with her for doing you wrong, and moved on. How did that relationship end up turning out?

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I have a mild phobia of sleep. Most nights when I'm lying in bed I end up feeling quite disturbed by it, the concept of designated, temporary oblivion

wow fuck you, do you think we are a shitty 16 year old girl who will let you fingerbang us after making such a offbeat, quirky statement, most likely asked after smoking too much weed as a 17 yr old and asking us a loaded question like 'do u ever think about sleep,' then pretending to be interested in our reply before eagerly jumping to your own

fuck you

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No, I can definitely say it's always wrong. Unless you both agree that you're in an open relationship, going behind the back of a person that you supposedly care about and doing the most unloyal shit possible in a relationship is not right. How can someone even justify it? That's just complete selfishness. You're trying to have your cake and eat it too. You don't want to leave the person you're with, but you still want to act single and hookup with other girls because it makes you feel good about yourself.

I really hope you're in no way addressing my post.

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I really hope you're in no way addressing my post.

No, it was in regards to oceansect/OP. I understand where you're coming from, and you gave good advice for him to talk to his girl. I honestly just feel like if someone gets to the point where they're actively working on cheating on their significant other, it's probably time to hang it up. I think that's slightly different then a spontaneous drunken makeout; although both are wrong.

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I dated a slut that I was planning on ditching a few months in but ended up falling for her since she was a blast to be with (fake as fuck tho.. found that shit out later on..). She ended up cheating on me late into the relationship. It was pretty much over but it still fucked with my thoughts about women.

It completely fucked up my sex drive to this day and pissed me off for a solid week. I have to say that cheating should never be something to consider as it does actually fuck with your partner's mind, especially if the person had feelings for you.

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No, it was in regards to oceansect/OP. I understand where you're coming from, and you gave good advice for him to talk to his girl. I honestly just feel like if someone gets to the point where they're actively working on cheating on their significant other, it's probably time to hang it up. I think that's slightly different then a spontaneous drunken makeout; although both are wrong.

oh, no, i agree with you

cheating pretty much spells the end, but i think you should talk about it

and yeah, premeditating it is almost the same

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First off thanks for a lot of good posts. I was not asking for opinions, but just was sharing while drunk and high a few thoughts i had. You guys focused on one part, thats cool, lets go with it.

As far as cheating go's, it can happen on a lot of levels, and for reasons. The example i had posted, was just a girl i banged a while ago, who i knew i could get in with and not have to deal with baggage... she was not so great, and it was just to punish and thrill a bit, as my GF and i are on good term nice vibes all the time, and a little hate sex can rock sometimes. As things turned out, i did not get with that girl, she did not deserve it and i thought better of the choice.

It was too premeditated and she was boring enough to blow it off eazzzy...

BUT, last night i was online and chilling, my GF was out with friends, and i started talking to a girl i used to work with on FB... in after 2 hours of chat i was at her house, and in another hour or two was smashing. It was great fun and worth it. I feel totally fine about having done it. Her BF was in China and we vibed and it happened. I wont make it a habit, i wont make it more than it was, a good night out that popped up and i took advantage of as best i could, she did the same.

No offense, but a lot of the views of IDEALISM and monogamy on this site are like bad sitcom values.

I have been in 2 four year relationships, and cheated in both.... i have been in one 2 year and never touched another girl AT ALL.

I have been with my current girl for about a year, and i LOVE HER, but its not the full spectrum of sex or wild emotion that can happen if you are in a more unstable relationship than i am in. This might sound like a contradiction, but we NEVER fight, no drama, just friendship and love. This is great to live with on a daily basis, but sometimes we need a good hate fuck, or just another point of view with a bit more tension which add's to things...

i am not saying this is for you. Your moral structure in life is different than mine. Its why were here talking, but i have been in a FEW LTR's, and i can say, every now and then, something pops up, and why not ride the wave.

My old rule was that you should never smash a girl, who is less than your current girl. Looks wise, style, mind, etc... If your girl is a 8 and you bang a 7, then your wack. If your girls a 8 and you bang a 11, be happy you landed it while you can.

You only live once, and most of us are not married.

Edited by AstroWolf
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^i agree in a way but the problem is if your partner expects monogamy from you, which i think i (and perhaps many others) tend to assume is how relationships work when no other -gamy is specified, then you should act monogamous.

even now, with your clarifications, i'm not sure if your girl understands that you aren't being monogamous with her, and so there is something wrong about that. its the deception, not the sleeping with that is the problem.

idgaf if a girl i'm with has slept with people other than me, but if we are in a relationship, and we agree that we won't see/sleep with/whatever other people, and she or I breaks that trust, then that sucks.

so you sound deceitful to me, and thats bad. and deceitful to yourself maybe, by justifying it with "our" views sound like "bad sitcom values"

but then maybe you have an understanding with your girl, so fine, great. whatever then.

Edited by OCEANSECT
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First off thanks for a lot of good posts. I was not asking for opinions, but just was sharing while drunk and high a few thoughts i had. You guys focused on one part, thats cool, lets go with it.

As far as cheating go's, it can happen on a lot of levels, and for reasons. The example i had posted, was just a girl i banged a while ago, who i knew i could get in with and not have to deal with baggage... she was not so great, and it was just to punish and thrill a bit, as my GF and i are on good term nice vibes all the time, and a little hate sex can rock sometimes. As things turned out, i did not get with that girl, she did not deserve it and i thought better of the choice.

It was too premeditated and she was boring enough to blow it off eazzzy...

BUT, last night i was online and chilling, my GF was out with friends, and i started talking to a girl i used to work with on FB... in after 2 hours of chat i was at her house, and in another hour or two was smashing. It was great fun and worth it. I feel totally fine about having done it. Her BF was in China and we vibed and it happened. I wont make it a habit, i wont make it more than it was, a good night out that popped up and i took advantage of as best i could, she did the same.

No offense, but a lot of the views of IDEALISM and monogamy on this site are like bad sitcom values.

I have been in 2 four year relationships, and cheated in both.... i have been in one 2 year and never touched another girl AT ALL.

I have been with my current girl for about a year, and i LOVE HER, but its not the full spectrum of sex or wild emotion that can happen if you are in a more unstable relationship than i am in. This might sound like a contradiction, but we NEVER fight, no drama, just friendship and love. This is great to live with on a daily basis, but sometimes we need a good hate fuck, or just another point of view with a bit more tension which add's to things...

i am not saying this is for you. Your moral structure in life is different than mine. Its why were here talking, but i have been in a FEW LTR's, and i can say, every now and then, something pops up, and why not ride the wave.

My old rule was that you should never smash a girl, who is less than your current girl. Looks wise, style, mind, etc... If your girl is a 8 and you bang a 7, then your wack. If your girls a 8 and you bang a 11, be happy you landed it while you can.

You only live once, and most of us are not married.

lol, working on the old "every hole's a goal" theory?

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I'm gonna be one of those losers as well but NYE is pretty much amateur hour. Youre better of staying home or doing something small with a few friends. I dont have any resolutions this year either. My last one for 2011 was read more often and I did accomplish that, I think people need to make reasonable resolutions.

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