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superconfessional


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Been dating a girl for a while.. it's kinda serious but we moved to different cities in the middle of it and she doesn't want to be in an "official" relationship if we're living in different cities. So, technically I'm single but sometimes I feel like I'm in a relationship. Fast forward, now I'm dating another girl at the same time, who lives in the same city as me. I told her I don't want anything serious but I could see it going in that direction. How do I juggle this shit without getting in trouble with both of them? Or am I fucked? Need some advice sufu.

why choose?

let things naturally unfold

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the sooner you make a decision, the less drama that will follow. i also just bumped your shit up (yes homo). you'll break 10k soon!

edit: i'm now only 5 rep ahead of you. lol. 9905 to 9990.

You sure about the math there?

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It's tough, but you gotta take it literally when she calls it "unofficial". I'd keep dating both, have fun, but do everything you can to make sure everyone is aware of the situation. Last thing you want is to build up the new girl's hopes then crush her. That's not fair for anyone. It'll be hard to be honest, but the girls will appreciate it, and you'll feel like a better man.

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Wow... Why did she snitch? Any beef at all? Did you smash her younger sister?

Nope, just a homie selling a friend some weed. They were high and I guess she got scared and then the cops went through my phone and shit, found my drugs/pipe, etc., luckily not my scale, though. It's really not that hard to lie and say you bought weed from some hobo off the street. but yeah, story of my life

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I feel exceptionally unappreciated. All the time. I think I do quite a bit for others, and really don't expect anything in return, but fuck...a simple thank you or a "hey man, I honestly appreciate that" would feel really good. I've given a healthy handful of ex employees a HUGE opportunity to grow and excel, and let them make all their mistakes with me instead of further down the line where it really matters, and they never call or write to say how much they appreciated it. I know it's valuable cause I was in their shoes at one time, and I called my old manager and store owner and thanked them profusely for what they gave me. Even fucking people coming in looking for donations, I'll put together an epic donation assortment for their raffle or whatvever, and they never say thank you or how much they appreciate us giving them shit for free. I don't ask for much... I swear to God, all these new kids that come thru have this attitude like they deserve or expect it.

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but hey, putting that aside, people do good things for others cause they're good people not for the props.

this was my one fear in posting that, and I know exactly what you mean. I'm not gonna stop helping people cause they don't say thank you or whatever, but I think it's totally fair to expect recognition, even a simple smile or thank you for going above and beyond for people. Like you, I do it. Even at crazy levels, I'll stack my plates and look my server in their eyes and say thank you for their help. I don't think that's at all unreasonable. Now, when people expect compensation...whole 'nother story.

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Yep, I got let off the hook with a suspension for a year that was ultimately reduced to a suspension for summer, writing some letters, and probation so no crazy shit on campus that could risk it for me. I feel so good right now haha

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feeling like I'm finally giving into major depression. I'm usually a highly optimistic person, and just just focus on the god things going on and ignore the tougher parts...but I've been feeling myself slip the other way for a little while now, and I think I'm headed in deep.

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okayokay...

are you bummed about actual things taking place in your life or are you bummed and have no reason to be? I'm pretty sure that is pretty big distinguishing factor. From my understanding, being sad/anxious for seemingly no reason is more along the lines of clinical depression - a constant state. It's pretty difficult to always shrug off the hard shit life throws at us so if you start slipping once and a while that is completely natural.

and about people nowadays.. individualism/self-interest is the devil

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about actual events. My life has been really easy for as far back as I can remember, and then in the last 2 years things just went haywire and continue to get more difficult. It's like I have all these pieces of issues/problems floating around in my mind, and they all weigh on me...but I can't organize them and address each one and knock it out. Some of them are problems that are way, way bigger than I am equipped to handle, and I'm grasping at them trying to find a way through. Some are small, and can be tackled easily, but it's just that things are so out of control on every front right now, and I can't see it ending. I have a lot of good going on also, and I recognize it, but it's hard not to be overly weighed down by the difficulties. It's becoming a lot to wake up to each morning, if that makes any sense.

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about actual events. My life has been really easy for as far back as I can remember, and then in the last 2 years things just went haywire and continue to get more difficult. It's like I have all these pieces of issues/problems floating around in my mind, and they all weigh on me...but I can't organize them and address each one and knock it out. Some of them are problems that are way, way bigger than I am equipped to handle, and I'm grasping at them trying to find a way through. Some are small, and can be tackled easily, but it's just that things are so out of control on every front right now, and I can't see it ending. I have a lot of good going on also, and I recognize it, but it's hard not to be overly weighed down by the difficulties. It's becoming a lot to wake up to each morning, if that makes any sense.

been feeling like this since i turned 30 .. dig out of a hole into another hole

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feeling like I'm finally giving into major depression. I'm usually a highly optimistic person, and just just focus on the god things going on and ignore the tougher parts...but I've been feeling myself slip the other way for a little while now, and I think I'm headed in deep.

Look into it sooner rather than later. Whether we like to admit or not, depression can have some serious long-term consequences. Good luck.

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obviously I don't know your situation any more than what you disclose to the message board. but if you are surrounded by at least some people (with at least as much or more stability than yourself) you shouldn't discount or forget the benefits of talking to people. It doesn't have to be a councilor/psychologist/psychiatrist, just family or friends. It is definitely good to get support from a number of avenues such as sufu (as funny as it sounds) but people in your life are better informed about 'you' than most of us. Sharing your experiences with people (especially if they can be objective) can really help reduce the weight of your problems. I said it before and it might sound fucking corny but we are social animals, we can't get through life in isolation so I think it is worth opening up to people.

it sounds like you have a bunch of 'fires' burning and you need to get some under control, some put out, and need reinforcements for the rest. You can't be expected to have all the tools to deal on your own with mounting problems. So if at all possible don't.

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