Jump to content

superconfessional


Recommended Posts

ego took quite a hit last night.

so i was working a seasonal job with a girl this summer and last summer, and despite us being good friends it was clear that there was the potential for something more. however, last summer she had a boyfriend. and towards the end of last summer she got her younger sister a job at the same place, and right off the bat her sister and i had a physical connection. within a few days her and i had had sex, and continued doing it for a couple months. this girl let me know that she wasn't thrilled that i was in a fuckbuddy relationship with her sister, but she could see that i wasn't using her or anything and i treated her with respect, so she sort of gave it her blessing.

fast forward to this summer, she's split up with her boyfriend, her sister has been out of the picture for several months, and her and i develop a closer relationship. all summer there's mutual flirting, a couple casual dates, but it didn't look like things would progress any further. i made a couple moves but each time she said she was still getting over her ex, was still thrown off by the fact i had been with her younger sister, and she didn't all of our coworkers in her business. i was ok with this, it was clear she was feeling me but i wasn't gonna push the issue too hard as i was pursuing another girl at the time. and i was really enjoying her friendship.

towards the end of the summer she's gearing up for school in a city about 3 hours away, and i could tell she was really second guessing herself. we're talking more and more frequently, she's telling me how much she's gonna miss me and it was pretty clear that she was regretting turning down my advances.

she leaves, and things change completely. now she wants to give things a shot between us. she's planning on coming back this weekend and wants to spend time together and talk about where we can take this. she and i both speak with her sister who is totally fine with us pursuing something, she said i was a great guy and was much better suited for her.

this is getting long so i'll cut to the chase. picked her up for dinner, couple drinks (should note her i only put back 2), and took her back to my place. had a great talk, took her to my bed and things are getting heated. after an hour or so of foreplay, i put the dome on and as i'm about to put it in i lose my boner... and it's not coming back. i'm absolutely mortified, nothing like this has ever happened to me before, and despite trying to get back in the mood my anxiety is totally killing any chance of redemption. she seems fully understanding (but visibly disappointed), and we go to sleep. i drive her home this morning with promises to see her tonight, but i'm rattled.

so yeah, i've been moping around all day, smacking myself in the head and muttering insults to myself

its nerves. i had this happen in a MUCH worse situation than that. also if the two drinks were whiskey at all that isnt good either

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've honestly forgotten how to create friendships. When I look back on how I built up all of my friendships with the friends that I already have, I'm drawing a total blank. Was re-reading a bit of Norwegian Wood on the bus today and ran into the line:

“Nobody likes being alone that much. I don’t go out of my way to make friends, that’s all. It just leads to disappointment. â€

and that is totally how I'm living right now. I do want to make more friends, but I don't know how to any more ... and I'm a bit apprehensive because it may just end up being a waste of time.

Does a guy ever truly get used to being alone?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I fucking hope you don't get used to being alone.

For sure we need to be comfortable with a certain degree of aloneness but that atomistic individualism bullshit is whats ruining the world. We are social animals, our individual experiences make up a communal knowledge. We wouldn't be anywhere if we were alone and didn't rely on other people. I guaranfuckingtee you that it won't be a waste of time and it is probably just as likely that it might not be that easy. Definitely does not mean you shouldn't try. Don't let yourself be defined by what you didn't do, what you were to apprehensive to do, fucking go ballz deep in that friendship making porno. Man date, bromance, do that shit up proper. Embrace disappointment, I failed my driver's exam three fucking times, I blew the clutch on my first truck, I cracked the back bumper of my car on a snowbank because I was going too fast, I cracked my moms bumper driving too stupid in the winter, I backed into another motherfuck in a parking lot (partly his fault), I hit a curb in the winter and fucked up my car again. Long story short, clearly I have bad luck (or I suck) but I'll be fucked if I stop driving.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So one of my friends is whipped to the core. Last night we were watching a movie when his GF calls and they spend over half an hour talking which was just him basicaly saying "yeah...yeah...I am listening!" He starts turning down the volume and we all give him dirty looks so he leaves the room. When he comes back he just sits in the corner looking all depressed. Then after a while he gets called again at about 1AM asking to pick her up from some bar in the city (30 minute drive) and of course he goes. The sad thing is shit like this happens all the time. "I had to spend the whole week with her just so we could hang out tonight"

guy has no balls

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm a nursing student. I'm sitting in a physiology lecture (we get taught a slightly less intense version of the medic's course, its why we're the best nursing school in the country) and all I can think is how this is the most interesting thing I do all week. And I can't stop thinking why I'm not just doing medicine. I know I'm smart enough to do it, even though I don't have the grades cause I never put the effort in in high school. But that doesn't mean I can't still do it if I got the right grades. Seriously, I feel like I totally pussied out on my education, and I'm still doing it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So one of my friends is whipped to the core. Last night we were watching a movie when his GF calls and they spend over half an hour talking which was just him basicaly saying "yeah...yeah...I am listening!" He starts turning down the volume and we all give him dirty looks so he leaves the room. When he comes back he just sits in the corner looking all depressed. Then after a while he gets called again at about 1AM asking to pick her up from some bar in the city (30 minute drive) and of course he goes. The sad thing is shit like this happens all the time. "I had to spend the whole week with her just so we could hang out tonight"

guy has no balls

i know all about this. all 3 of my housemates are in committed relationships, and two of them are in completely dependent and unhealthy relationships. i'm just bitter since i got out of a relationship like that a month ago, but hanging out with them is insufferable when they're with their gf's.

personally i'm pretty excited for a study date tonight. it's not even with a girl :(

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Can't find a video link, so a description will have to work.

Supertroopers scene, Dimpus Burger.

Farva asks Ramathorn what he's gonna do when the Highway patrol gets shut down. Thorny starts seriously talking about his plans for the future, then Farva cuts him off and starts saying what he's gonna do, including buying a 10 million dollar car.

The look on Thorny's face.

I can appreciate that.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I was supposed to quit smoking and slow down on drinking to get out of debt. I failed and now for some reason I drink/smoke more than before I was going to quit.

I don't think I'm ever going to leave this city at this rate.

i feel you.

you can do it. stop cigarettes and drink in weekends, maybe monthly. continue smoking marijuana.

ballin

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...