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I woke up today with a strange feeling that the world wasn't exactly how I had imagined it would be. So I decided to redecorate my apartment. Which eventually has lead me back to that feeling. For example, I always thought that there would be a girl to do the decorating instead of me. Now I'm standing utterly confused as to what the fuck a duvet cover is for, both on a functional and metaphysical level. I need to find something to occupy my mind on a more permanent basis.

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That feeling when you feel like you don't like any of your friends

this pretty much sums up the past 8 months for me. moved to a new place - new job and sharing a house with 4 others who i dont really like all that much, moreso that we are so different.

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Shitty job and butchered haircut are kind of ruining my summer. I wish I wasn't so self-conscious and in need of money. Can school just start again?

I always knew this, but this crystallizes that you're a fuckin lame.

I cut my own hair and have no job and this is the best summer ever.

Fuck, and I don't even have school to look forward to.

You are awful

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no job can sometimes be better than a shitty one. I did data entry for a summer and when I got home I was so completely drained and zombie-like I couldn't even be bothered to have sex with my girlfriend. I was 18. Awful.

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I found a new job that pays more/better contract and am going to quit my current one but i am really dreading telling my boss who asked me like a week ago if I was willing to stay, if I liked it there, etc... because he's already trained a bunch of people who have left. i said I liked the position and was willing to stay.

ç_ç

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I am about to start following horoscopes. I've become a pussy that can't handle taking control of his own life. It says I should wear coral!!

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Sometimes when I walk by a group of people playing frisbee, throwing a ball around, etc., I'll pull out my phone and check my messages. That way when they say "look out!" and I flail my arms around like a crazy person or get beamed in the head, they'll think it's because I was deep into a text message or something rather than just being an awkward spaz who can't catch a damn frisbee.

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speaking of heart attacks, i just walked up the 19 flights of stairs to my apartment. holy shit i've allowed myself to become just a terrible person.

still speaking of heart attecks, i saw someone die from one a few weeks ago ( first dead body, but after cheapoes chiller one.. meh) made me start eating healthier. BUT now im gonna get too skinny. Cant fuckin win

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i've been working out a whole lot lately and have lost pretty decent weight. i tailored a pair of pants not too long ago and now it looks fuckin sloppy on me because i've lost weight. i'm happy that i lost weight but not happy that my pants don't fit well. what the flyin fuck. i'm crazy

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had such a crazy nightmare last night i almost had a heart attack in my sleep. woke up with my chest pounding and hyperventilating

I've had that happen before. Was years ago, I dreamed that I let our old German Shepard out the back door to relieve himself. It was dark out and he went outside of area being lit by the porch lights. I called him to come back and a Bengal tiger came running back at me out of the dark. Immediately snapped awake/sat up, gasping for breath and my heart pounding the hardest and fastest it ever has. Thought I was having a heart attack. Scary shit! Hope you were feeling better in the morning!

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