superconfessional

[DüM]

also, I finally landed a heelflip for the first time today. our boss bought us a spongebob skateboard for whatever reason and i was messing around.

I still suck at skating, but I was so proud of myself.

[mr fluffernutter]

let's go skating... i suck hard.. but i'm still awesome

[mrip]

let it be known that diamonds is not awesome

[Brienneoftarth]

christ. first time confessional. I have an enormous crush on girl at my work. She's perfect. It's been a long time since I've felt so awkward. I've got tickets to the presets at a pretty small club. my question. Do I ask her to go?

[mrip]

no, just sit at home and use your tears as lube to jack off to waywt

[m1sterko]

christ. first time confessional. I have an enormous crush on girl at my work. She's perfect. It's been a long time since I've felt so awkward. I've got tickets to the presets at a pretty small club. my question. Do I ask her to go?

you have to realize that girls are from perfect. there is no perfect girl. please get over this childish crush. man up and ask her if you really do like her. dont ask questions... what are you liek 14?

[djrajio]

Agreed.

There is no such thing as a perfect woman.

Every person has their flaws.

You are merely infaturated with an idealized perception of her within your head.

Get rid of it.

Now, I wouldn't recommend you shit where you work; cuz if your "masterplan" falls out, you still have to deal with her at work.

But if you must.

Do it from the get go with romantic interest.

Otherwise, you'll get "let's just be friends"-ed.

It's better to recognize it from the on-set, back-off, and use her as a pivot to meet her hot friends.

[dismalfuture]

Workplace girlfriends are a terrible idea, unless you're already a shoe-in hot piece of manmeat that your female co-workers would be crazy to turn down, and still even then, you can only go for like 3 or 4 girls max, before you get exiled. I suggest you go for the more subtle introspective office wife-husband partnership, where you both have separate relationships outside of the office, but go to each other in the workday to give each other support, do thoughtful things like bring each other coffee and make copies for each other, wait for each other at lunch, and play off each other's clumsy flirting as jokes.

[billy dee williams]

I popped my animal pak in and chased it with boars blood, and then the unthinkable happened today, I was going to enter my gym through the main entrance when animal instinct took over. I knew something was wrong. It was my large torso, too wide to get through the door. I calmed myself down thinking, i'd better be able to get into the gym. I went back to my car, popped another animal pak, reved up my engine, and drove through the door. The crash cleared 4 more feet in the entrance, wide enough for future visits to the gym, because I know i'd only be getting bigger by the second. The animal pak was in full effect at this point, I lost control. I reved up the engine once more and ran over the people on the treadmills. All those doing curls I played bumper cars with, they didn't stand a chance. I saw my target, I drove to the squat rack. Parked my car on some pussy benching 400. I got out, and immediately loaded up 1000 lbs for warm ups. Not having enough 45 plates in the gym to suffice my ultimate animal needs, I went around collecting bodies, bodies ranging from 150 pound weaklings to 300 pound blobs. I stood them all in a line and threw an olympic bar like a javelin through their torsos, making a human shish-kebob weighing 3000 lbs. I threw it up over my head, took a deep breath into my belly of human flesh and blood, and repped for 20. Then I siphoned some of my cars gasoline out onto the floor beneath the 3000 pound human squat bar, lit it up and cooked myself a well balanced animal meal. Some might call it murder, I just call it instinct, animals can't be arrested for murder. Animal Pak, can you handle it?

[geekbonchic]

Oh yeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, son.

[comaeternal]

some fool owes me 4 bills and has been lagging it hard. Im out to tax soon

[mrip]

is that guy wearing a g-string?

[artificialsky]

I popped my animal pak in and chased it with boars blood, and then the unthinkable happened today, I was going to enter my gym through the main entrance when animal instinct took over. I knew something was wrong. It was my large torso, too wide to get through the door. I calmed myself down thinking, i'd better be able to get into the gym. I went back to my car, popped another animal pak, reved up my engine, and drove through the door. The crash cleared 4 more feet in the entrance, wide enough for future visits to the gym, because I know i'd only be getting bigger by the second. The animal pak was in full effect at this point, I lost control. I reved up the engine once more and ran over the people on the treadmills. All those doing curls I played bumper cars with, they didn't stand a chance. I saw my target, I drove to the squat rack. Parked my car on some pussy benching 400. I got out, and immediately loaded up 1000 lbs for warm ups. Not having enough 45 plates in the gym to suffice my ultimate animal needs, I went around collecting bodies, bodies ranging from 150 pound weaklings to 300 pound blobs. I stood them all in a line and threw an olympic bar like a javelin through their torsos, making a human shish-kebob weighing 3000 lbs. I threw it up over my head, took a deep breath into my belly of human flesh and blood, and repped for 20. Then I siphoned some of my cars gasoline out onto the floor beneath the 3000 pound human squat bar, lit it up and cooked myself a well balanced animal meal. Some might call it murder, I just call it instinct, animals can't be arrested for murder. Animal Pak, can you handle it?

Ya bro. Like the other day I was doing bent over rear delt fly's. I was on my last set, and decided to really go balls to the wall. I picked up the 80lb dumbbells, too light. I looked around and saw a 150lb faggot and said "Hold these faggot." I threw the 80's up in the air and did a double volleyball spike right at the faggot. Fuckin bullseye motherfucker, the kid was pinned to the ground with all his ribs crushed. I eyed the ultimate test. I went over and grabbed the 150's and started cursing the shit out of them, letting them know who's fucking gym they were in. I carried the motherfuckers over to my bench that I had pissed all over before incase anyone didn't know it wasn't taken. I threw them on the ground, sweared at the bitches even more. I took my seat, grasped my huge fucking hands around the handles, and prepared to rep for 10. I got to my 5th rep and what's this? Some old motherfucker on death's doorstep was coming over to get the 5lb dumbbells to bench with, and he farted right in my face. I looked down to check - no, I automatically knew that I didn't have sand in my vag. Here's a little science lesson for you faggots - Animals don't get sand in their vag. The shit didn't even phase me though brah, I was too in the zone to even care. I rep'd out at 10 with the 150's, stood up, and looked for that old motherfucker. I took a dumbbell in each of my animal hands and swung my arms like 2 windmills as I ran full speed at old man river. By the time he finally lifted his head it was too late. The last thing he saw was my animal eyes ready to speed up his meeting with death. I pulverized his puny body and beat him with the dumbbells until he turned to powder. I gathered up all the powder, put it in my jug, mixed it lion's blood that I carry around with me, and chugged. Some people might say it's inhumane. Some people might say being in the zone is unsafe. I say I'm just an animal.

[poshpol]

Shit has hit the fan.

[keagan]

mr sky, his was better.

[mr fluffernutter]

let it be known that diamonds is not awesome

NO, FUCK YOU

[julzkind]

Shit has hit the fan.

has the heat made everyone go crazy?!?!

[mr fluffernutter]

I feel it, burning, right here in my heart,

Dont you know its like a heat weave

[jcotteri]

christ. first time confessional. I have an enormous crush on girl at my work. She's perfect. It's been a long time since I've felt so awkward. I've got tickets to the presets at a pretty small club. my question. Do I ask her to go?

presets will be your downfall...

[Egpt]

kanye west X raf simons. let's hope it's a lie.

what the fuck? ellaborate on the rumour please

[Gilead]

I found out this passive aggressive lying little wanky bald fuck has been going around spreading shit about me, up to and including calling me a date rapist. I want to break this motherfucker's fingers, and I'm usually not even remotely violent.

edit: Fuck that, I want to mess up his smug lying face.

[designersheep]

I often get dislocated jaw these days while eating. I literally have to punch my face to put it back in place. People stare, and it's embarassing, but I can't help it. It's kinda funny too.

[wesc]

I went to go get tea and theres no more boiling water... I wanted to slap a bitch. I come back to voice my disappointment to my co-workers you know what they say ?

Fatwoman: well I mean you come in late enough why don't you have your tea at home ?

I wanted to bitch slap her and say...." well you leave early enough why don't you go to the gym to save yourself from obesity".

Man: oh no what a tragedy, such hardship. Etc etc...

I wanted to say " damn straight bitch,like you wouldn’t be crying if there wouldn't be water to go along with your viagra."

[whitney]

I found out this passive aggressive lying little wanky bald fuck has been going around spreading shit about me, up to and including calling me a date rapist. I want to break this motherfucker's fingers, and I'm usually not even remotely violent.

edit: Fuck that, I want to mess up his smug lying face.

i hate fuckers like that.. not that i like confrontation but if i had a problem with someone they'd know it. i wouldn't go around shitting* to other people about them and be all cheery faced when i see them..

*esp. when they're lies.

[jayrock]

My subconscious is pissing me off. Everytime I am waking up in the morning I am thinking about global politics or something fucking stupid like that.

On a completely unrelated sidenote, I feel like shit and a called in a sick day for work. My head is congested, my throat hurts, and my snot is bright green. Not cool.

[scoki]

I forgot my shorts so I was grappling in my jeans. Oma plata fades.

[BTT]

[cinderella]

my eating habits have been crazy lately...

yesterday i ate brunch and then 3 dried polish sausages at 2am

today i've eaten nothing except for an entire bag of almond roca candies.

my room is still not clean...

[geekbonchic]

nom nom nom

[off bowery]

Im mad high at work. I just smoked a fat ass blunt with this chick. I mjade mad errors righyting this and I cant evem go back and change it. wordddd.