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odd/crazy shit your family does


_ironman

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many people think their family is weird in some way, cuz their parents/siblings do some odd or crazy shit. not talking about annoying things like when they knock on your door as they already opening it.

post your stories. feel free to post things about friends or whatever too. i'll start

- today is garbage day. in the mornings on garbage day, my mom will deliberately cut up a bunch of fruit (cores and skins) just to make more compost, as if the garbage man will never come again

- my mom watches TV and listens to news radio simultaneously. most of the time that this is occurring, she is either not in that same room or is asleep

- when i was younger and without a girlfriend, my dad would proceed to laugh and ask if i was gay. he would do this like every other week

- my parents insist i mow the lawn not because it's too tall, but because it is expected to rain...later in the same day

- my mom steams any kind of bread imaginable and i'm not sure why. when i'd say wtf, she used to pretend that she didn't steam it. she has since evolved to steaming it and then toasting it. this makes the bread crispy on the outside but soggy and weird inside

- my aunt took some money from my cousin (who was 17 working a part time job) to help pay for a down payment for a Lexus. the car was not for him

- i had this friend in undergrad who was an international student from mainland China. at our graduation dinner, the bread was stale. he was hungry while waiting for entrees. his solution? he straight up ate all the little butter packets for the bread

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FADEtoDARKNESS, the last one reminds me of similar crazy shit my mom did

for some reason, there was a long period of time in which my mom had particular hate for people from Hong Kong (asians hating on each other concept)

of course, my older brother was dating someone from Hong Kong. i remember coming home from high school one day, smelling something burning

apparently, my mom went into my brother's room, went through his stuff, found pictures, letters, etc. and put it in a pot on the stove and burned it all

couldn't she just throw them away or cut them up? lol

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my brother and I and my dad to some extent, fight over thanksgiving leftovers. It's deep, psychological warfare on a level that could only be approximated by something like death note, or an actual book, with words, and chapters and maybe like a foreward written by david eggers.

This year I planted the seeds early: forced biometric testing in the office for health care reasons, encouraged my brother to eat whatever the fuck he wanted to at lunchtime while I ate salads and figs and whatnot(always wearing dior concept). Finally, the trap was set.

1)told my mom that my dad's cholesterol levels were "okay" but not great.

2)told my brother's wife that he was getting a little fat and showed her a picture of him right out of afghanistan when he was ripped.

Naturally I thought I won this war, but my brother is rather intelligent as well. He convinced my mom not to make stuffing this year because it was "unhealthy". He knew that I was angling for the ultimate trifecta of turkey + stuffing + apple pie. Without me knowing, one goal was lost and replaced with some healthy steamed veggies and whatnot.

My dad convinced my mom to only make enough food for the family with a "healthier" side dish of sweet potatoes sliced with orange citrus emulsion. He also cut the turkey such that the brown meat went first(along with the crispy skin) to his own plate, that devious bastard.

When I saw this happening I convinced my mom to let me make the turkey pot pie from the leftovers while she was in california, and she would give direction by skype. I also moved a meeting for my dad to friday in Alabama so that he would not be in the house when I got back from Dallas.

The apple pie was split under our annual scrabble game, in which my brother cheated mercilessly and defeated me. I however managed to eat most of the pecan pie while he was busy cheating, so we came out even.

The end result so far is that the leftovers are in the kitchen at my parents's house, waiting to be turned into a delicious pie, that I will eat myself and not fucking share with anyone because fuck them I love thanksgiving food.

I don't know what's happened in the two days I have been traveling so I am a bit worried my brother went around his wife to get to the food...we will see.

This happens every year.

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During my summers in Korea, my dad would come home every other day pissed drunk and he always sprayed mosquito-killer EVERYWHERE. Whenever he comes home late, I anticipate this and I lock my door, but that leads senseless shouting and unreasonable anger. I dont think I will ever adapt to living with my pops.

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Guest I LOVE LFC

My mum never spoke to me for 2 weeks when I told her my lady was pregnant. Sort of understandable as she is Gods right hand (wo)man.

I saved furiously for a house deposit and moved out.

The day before my 17th birthday, my mum found an 1/8th of weed in my draw. Long story short they tried to make me stay in that night when I had a date with my lady and 3 litres of white lightning. Some arguing insued, I ended up jumping out of a window, going straight through the patio table and hopping over next doors fence.

Unbeknown to me, my dad had gone out the front and tried to chase me, but fell and broke his leg. He even walked a mile with the broken leg to my girls house to see if I was there. He was off work for 8 weeks recovering. I didn't get my driving lessons, and I still feel proper shit about it to this day.

Respect your parents kids, they only want the best for you, but get out as soon as possible!

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my mom reuses ziploc bags. Washes them and reuses them.

i think thats pretty weird cuz its not like they couldnt just buy more.

my mom does this with the big bags

not the small ones

reuses aluminum foil too

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my mom reuses ziploc bags. Washes them and reuses them.

i think thats pretty weird cuz its not like they couldnt just buy more.

my mom does all the time. she basically reuses anything until it breaks.

also i think i speak for every asian family when i say that the one time a year we eat at some fast food restaurant, they grab handfuls of ketchup/relish/napkins like we're about to experience a nuclear holocaust or someshit. gotta stock up yadig?

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My dad likes to keep any plastic cup you get from a gas station and reuse them. He gets pissed about it if my mom throws one away.

He also used to make me wash cars at one of his dealerships for 50 cents an hour when I was 6 because he wanted to "instill work ethic into his son".

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Dad doesn't have diabetes, but he checks his blood sugar constantly. He thinks he has problem with his sugar, but he won't actually go to a doctor and be tested. Also, he hasn't torn the rotator cuff in his shoulder yet, but it is damaged. That has done nothing to stop his workout routine, and he has no intention of having surgery to repair the damage already done to his shoulder.

Dad has an aversion to pants. I think part of that comes from his bloated belly that makes him look like he's 7 months pregnant. His pants don't fit him comfortably, so he doesn't want to wear them. His underpants don't fit him either, so he tailors them by cutting a V in the waist band at each hip, to loosen them up. This leads to them wanting to fall off, so he walks around the house with one hand holding them partly up, his naked ass hanging out. For some reason he'll sit in his TV watching chair with his underpants down so his bare ass is on seat.

He has issues with depression. Winter is always the worst, but it seems like he's depressed year round anymore. He doesn't get the proper help, and I'm tired of taking care of him.

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mom reuses plastick cutlery and plastic plates.

when working at the theatre she would have me get popcorn before i come home (for free duh) and i found later she just would bagg it and store it. Later she would give popcorn to ppl as presents. I was suprised how fresh they were.

we celebrate xmas on xmas eve, german tradition.

my mom is always right even though she is usually wrong and my dad knows everything literally, watches way too much discovery channelll.

my mom hates all my friends and any girls that show a liking in me, after we break up though she falls in love with them wtfffff

My dad wakes up at 5 or 4am on sat to make cakes. He bakes usually 3. For no reason.

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after dinner my dad usually starts filling up the dishwasher with the dirty dishes while the rest of the fam is still sitting at the table just having the usual smalltalk, we always have to tell him to stop what he's doing and join us at the table

i guess he just doesn't want to talk...?

my dad doesn't talk much and weirdly enough all his brothers are virtually the same. but just give him 2 glasses of wine and he has these arguments (that are actually quite hilarious) where half the time he isn't even in the right. but he just argues his point for so long and gets louder and more animated until the other person just admits defeat.

i guess it's kinda funny but my mom is always embarrassed :-D

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