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dismalfuture

official break up thread

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you should've taken up Charly's enforcement offer. He's pretty majestic when pissed off, original Asian bounty hunter.
in that case he's beating up xewo

edit: (10)

PSYCHOMEAT MODE ENGAGED

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Gentleman:

What is to be done when a particular vageen does not leave your thoughts? Everyone tells me to stop bitching out and move onward and upward but as with most things it is easier said than done. We broke up over a year ago but didn't actually stop fucking until June. Her absence is everywhere and I am averaging a dream per night about her. Her adorable and constant internet presence does not help matters. I know I shouldn't look but it is basically impossible.

(DISCLAIMER: crosspost with "who here is drunk?")

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my ex just listed her ring on eBay. Guess that goes here. She's the kind of girl where nothing's sacred, its all just technicalities. Money to be made I guess.

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Gentleman:

What is to be done when a particular vageen does not leave your thoughts? Everyone tells me to stop bitching out and move onward and upward but as with most things it is easier said than done. We broke up over a year ago but didn't actually stop fucking until June. Her absence is everywhere and I am averaging a dream per night about her. Her adorable and constant internet presence does not help matters. I know I shouldn't look but it is basically impossible.

(DISCLAIMER: crosspost with "who here is drunk?")

To be honest I've found you really can't(shouldn't) erase exes from memory, the best to hope for is to forget them enough to move on.

It's like fap urges just stop thinking about it and get occupied with something else. Like lifting.

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my ex just listed her ring on eBay. Guess that goes here. She's the kind of girl where nothing's sacred, its all just technicalities. Money to be made I guess.

fuck that man, sounds like a bitch

Last night I got hammered at this kid's apartment for his birthday, had a great time, met a ton of c00l pe0ples and shit. After a couple hours there we dipped to another friend's party and were more low-key, drank some more and was real fucked up at that point, everyone's having a great time. Then my friend turns to me with a serious face and says "Hey man, _____ is coming over, if you want to leave we can leave." So I'm thinking what the fuck, not to sound selfish, but these aren't her friends. She never talks to any of these people except she used to talk to the two kids i went there with when we were dating, but they don't really want anything to do with her now. I honestly have no fucking idea how she found out, i'm pretty sure she's just trying to get under my fucking skin and it feels super shitty. Not only before did it suck when she didn't seem upset (post breakup) but now it's like she's trying to shove it in my face how happy she is. I'm going to lose my fucking mind, I feel like I have no sanctuary without her trying to fucking crawl into it. This whole situation has made me really cynical and bitter.

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broke up with girl of 2.5 years and change about 3-4 weeks ago. it was never the perfect romance, we've broken up before and in general we have a lot of our own issues that get in the way of romantic harmony, and i think she finally came to terms with the fact that she has a lot of these issues (paranoia, insecurities, anxiety) and that she needed some space to work on herself.

I couldn't disagree with that line of reasoning because that truth had been obvious to me for a long time, and i was just OK with a subpar relationship because I loved the girl and because I've become really lazy and comfortable. so i let her go without any kind of a fight.

seen her a handful of times since with mixed results. nothing i could consider a real hook up, but plenty of crying and smiling and wishful statements/thinking. I have been ready to be back with her, on at least a casual level, for the last two weeks.. whether or not it's the right move in the long term, i have no idea and I'm actually inclined to believe it's not. but there is this gigantic hole in my heart where she used to be, and i'm willing to cling to fantasies of getting back together and improving ourselves and our relationship. she doesn't seem to want to get back together, and in general has been rebuffing my attempts at communication.

this feeling of being more into someone than they are you-- needing someone more than they need you, caring about them more than they you-- is totally new to me and it's tearing me apart. all the other times we broke up it was my initiative.

i miss the intimacy, i miss sleeping with another human being, i miss the sex. so much of my confidence was attached to her. i have forgotten how to love myself. i miss my girl so much. you don't know what you have til it's gone. i would do anything to have her eyes and her smile on the daily again.

we are both seniors in college. i have the self awareness to understand that at 22 this isn't the end of the world, that we probably would never have worked out anyways, that I can't be pouring so much of myself into another person at this stage of my life.. none of it really helps though.

edit: god I'm such a pussy

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don't worry. it gets better with time.

it sucks feeling like a wreck, but if you realize those emotional inconsistencies, you're healthily on your way.

I'm your age and gf of 4-5 years broke up with me at the beginning of the year.

It's only been a few weeks since I've started feeling normal and rational again, and it's... September.

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I just ended it with my girl, we had a good 5-6 month run. She was great, but timing is bad sometimes. wamp wamp.

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i miss the intimacy, i miss sleeping with another human being, i miss the sex. so much of my confidence was attached to her. i have forgotten how to love myself. i miss my girl so much. you don't know what you have til it's gone. i would do anything to have her eyes and her smile on the daily again.

edit: god I'm such a pussy

brogina literally telling my story.

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I nominate boy better know to be the voice of reason on SuFu from here on out.

Also Scott, you good homie? You can call if you need bro.

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I'm okay, I'll never get used to breaking up with someone, though someone I've been lucky enough to have never been dumped. Funny, since as a youth I always suspected it'd be me getting dumped, lifes weird. Looking forward to getting out of this fucking office and home into bed. I just want to sleep, I don't cope well with hurting people I care about.

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I feel like it's much harder to hurt than be hurt

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so I mentioned a few days ago that my ex is eBaying her ring. It's not that I care at all, it's way better that we divorced, and it's actually pretty amicable and friendly (from my side anyways), but eBaying the ring just solidifies my claim that she's cold and either doesn't understand empathy or affection, or just doesn't care...I genuinely don't know which it is. We're still friends, or at least I'm trying to be, especially as we have kids and it'd be infinitely better for them to have Mom and Dad on great terms than not, but her personality really makes it difficult. I guess with the ring it really doesn't matter and I don't care, but imo the respectful thing would be to either give it back, or keep it, not fucking eBay it 6 months after you got divorced, but given her personality I guess it's expected.

Well, the punchline is my Mom called me (I linked the eBay ad to her, and she was obviously disappointed in her actions as well) and said she still has the dress, which her and my Dad paid to have professionally cleaned and boxed/sealed, and asked me what I wanted to do with it. I considered texting my ex and telling her she should list the dress with the ring as a combo set, that maybe she could make more money that way. I considered just selling it myself and spending the money on something for my current GF, who is by far deserving of something nice (even though the proceeds from my ex's wedding dress would maybe be a tacky way of funding a gift), but I think I've settled on just donating it to a women's charity, to someone who needs it, and someone who would value it. Not like it was absurd, but what I spent on the ring and the dress was considerable, especially in respect to my income, and could probably fetch a decent price...but donating it just seems like a good thing to do for someone in need...and maybe the ultimate fuck you to her.

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I just ended it with my girl, we had a good 5-6 month run. She was great, but timing is bad sometimes. wamp wamp.

sorry to hear scott. sufu's here for you :group hug:

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So I was going through my hotmail account (which I basically never use anymore) to see if I got a Diablo 3 beta invite (I didn't).

During this, I noticed I had a folder set up with emails from my ex from 3 or more years back. Reading through them, it's quite funny how bad the tunnel vision is when you're in the actual relationship. I read a few of them, and it kind of brought back some memories, but absolutely no feeling or emotion towards her. I almost feel like it never happened, and we were together for about 3 years.

I have a new girlfriend now, and we've been together for a year. I guess the point of this, is that shit does get better after a breakup, and the person you cared so much about becomes nothing but a vague memory (especially if you break off all contact). It's hard thinking about that when you're actually in the relationship, and it's kind of weird now that I look back on it.

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I feel like it's much harder to hurt than be hurt

this, i've only broken up with a girl once and it was one of the most terrible feelings ever. it was especially awful to hear the trembling in her voice when i uttered the dreaded words, "we need to talk..."

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so I mentioned a few days ago that my ex is eBaying her ring. It's not that I care at all, it's way better that we divorced, and it's actually pretty amicable and friendly (from my side anyways), but eBaying the ring just solidifies my claim that she's cold and either doesn't understand empathy or affection, or just doesn't care...I genuinely don't know which it is. We're still friends, or at least I'm trying to be, especially as we have kids and it'd be infinitely better for them to have Mom and Dad on great terms than not, but her personality really makes it difficult. I guess with the ring it really doesn't matter and I don't care, but imo the respectful thing would be to either give it back, or keep it, not fucking eBay it 6 months after you got divorced, but given her personality I guess it's expected.

Well, the punchline is my Mom called me (I linked the eBay ad to her, and she was obviously disappointed in her actions as well) and said she still has the dress, which her and my Dad paid to have professionally cleaned and boxed/sealed, and asked me what I wanted to do with it. I considered texting my ex and telling her she should list the dress with the ring as a combo set, that maybe she could make more money that way. I considered just selling it myself and spending the money on something for my current GF, who is by far deserving of something nice (even though the proceeds from my ex's wedding dress would maybe be a tacky way of funding a gift), but I think I've settled on just donating it to a women's charity, to someone who needs it, and someone who would value it. Not like it was absurd, but what I spent on the ring and the dress was considerable, especially in respect to my income, and could probably fetch a decent price...but donating it just seems like a good thing to do for someone in need...and maybe the ultimate fuck you to her.

Donating the dress is a nice idea. Remember to get a donation slip for the value of the dress so you can get a tax write-off.

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I feel like it's much harder to hurt than be hurt

this is ultimately not true

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i don't think it really depends on much. it's harder to actually do, but that's only because hurting someone is an active thing and being hurt is passive. You don't really get a choice in being hurt, it's not like you wake up one day and go "yeah I think i'd love to get absolutely devestated today."

Hurting someone sucks because you actually have to actively do it, get out there and go "Sorry sweetheart, this isn't working for me" and watch someone you care about cry and try and stop you etc.

But at the end of the day, it's rarely the person who takes action who sits around wondering what the fuck happened. Empathy only goes so far before self preservation kicks in - if it was easier to be hurt than to hurt, no one would ever do the dirty work.

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I have to agree with that.

im having full on mood swings for the first time in my life. Alternate bouts of supreme confidence followed by total self doubt. been acting out in really ugly ways to draw attention to myself, and then a couple hours later I'll be sitting down with a bowl, totally disgusted and confused that I could act that way.

things are getting better tho. I need to start talking to girls

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